Marriage Funnies!
Marriage---------------
Every man should
get married some time; after all, happiness is not
the only thing
in life!!
--Anonymous
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An archaeologist
is the best husband a woman can have; the older
she gets the
more interested he is in her.
--Agatha
Christie
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Bachelors should
be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men
should be
happier than others.
--Oscar
Wilde
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Don't marry for
money; you can borrow it cheaper.
--Scottish
Proverb
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I don't worry
about terrorism. I was married for two years.
--Sam
Kinison
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A psychiatrist
is a person who will give you expensive answers that
your wife will
give you for free.
--Anonymous
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Bachelors know
more about women than married men; if they didn't,
they'd be
married too.
--H. L.
Mencken
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Men have a
better time than women; for one thing, they marry later;
for another
thing, they die earlier.
--H. L.
Mencken
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"A man
without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle."
- U2
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Marriage is a
three ring circus:
--engagement
ring
--wedding
ring
--suffer-ing
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When a newly
married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a
ten-year married
couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
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Love is blind
but marriage is an eye-opener.
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When a man opens
the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure
of one thing:
either the car is new or the wife.
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I take my wife
everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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I asked my wife,
"Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She
said, "Somewhere
I have never been!" I told her, "How about the
kitchen?"
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We always hold
hands. If I let go, she shops.
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My wife was in
beauty saloon for two hours That was only for the
estimate.
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She got a
mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell
off.
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She ran after
the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the
garbage?"
Following her
down the street I yelled, "No, jump in!"
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BaddTeddy
recently explained to me why he refuses to ever get married. He
says "the wedding rings look too much like miniature handcuffs....."
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If your dog is
barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front
door, who do you let in first? The Dog of course...at least he'll
shut up after you let him in!
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A man placed
some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and
started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to
another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying
with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to
die?
Why did you have
to die?"
The first man
approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with
your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than
I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so
deeply? A child?
A parent?"
The mourner took
a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first
husband."
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A couple came
upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and
threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish,too. But she
leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The
husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works!"
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Before marriage,
a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y"
becomes silent.
Regards,
Abdul Mateen
Khan.