Two business men seated on an airplane

noticed a Muslim man sitting in front of them, one of the

men says to the other with a wink, "I was going to go

to Africa until I found out that half the country is Muslim so don't

want to go there". The other man says, "We'll  how about Saudi Arabia

then?" The first man says "No way, Saudi Arabia is loaded with those

Muslims too." The other man suggests a trip to the U.S. but  his

companion says "The Muslims have spread out over the whole country

every time I turn around there I bump into one." The men are watching

and can see that the Muslim man is fidgeting and getting

kind of agitated  about their conversation. The fellow who

started the teasing decides to really get him mad and says

"I really wanted to go to Pakistan but that place is

crawling with Muslims". At this the Muslim man has had it and

finally turns around in his seat and sweetly says to the

men, "Why don't you both go to hell? I hear that there aren't any Muslims

there!"

Every horse has its stable, every beast its pen,

Every bird its nest.And God knows best.

A philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot were out riding in the car

when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the 3 men found

themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and

the Devil were standing nearby.

"Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now

overcrowded, therefore St. Peter has agreed to limit the number of

people entering Heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question which I

don't know or cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go to

Heaven;if not, then you'll come with me to Hell."

The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive

report on Socrates' teachings."

With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the

Devil. The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct.

"Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the philosopher

disappeared.

The mathematician then asked, "Give me the most complicated formula

you

can ever think of!"

With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared next to the

Devil. The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was

correct.

"Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the mathematician

disappeared.

The idiot then stepped forward and said, "Bring me a chair!"

The Devil brought forward a chair.

"Drill 7 holes on the seat."

The Devil did just that.

The idiot then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart. Standing

up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come out from?"

The Devil inspected the seat and said, "The third hole from the

right."

"Wrong," said the idiot, "it's from my asshole." And that's how an

idiot

got into Heaven...