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Respecting our Parents
Parents are willing to sacrifice anything and everything for
their children. What do they deserve in return? At the end of a
long, hard day, I finally lay my nine-months-old daughter to
sleep. I stare deeply at her innocent face. Flashback of a
hectic day run through my mind - feeding, changing, chasing,
teaching and entertaining.
Then my thoughts change gear as I wonder about her future. What
does life have in store for her? Will it be laughter and
happiness or tears and pain? Will she be the best Muslim she
can be or will someone or something lead her astray? Will I be
there to guide her and lead her back into the straight path?
Will she even care or listen? Then I snapped back into the
present by her loud and sudden cry, praying that it will not be
another all-nighter. Allah knows how much I love, and dearly
miss my sleep.
Thoughts and occurrences similar to this one are what every
parent, especially the mother, has or will have experienced.
They are willing to sacrifice anything and everything for their
children. Time, money, sleep and sometimes even social lives
are on the top of that list.
What do they deserve in return? Well, you cannot give back time
and sleep. They are almost certainly not interested in your
money (unless you have a job they probably gave it to you
anyway). All they ask of you is a little respect. I am sure
that you will agree that with all they do for you, it is the
least you can do for them.
What do I mean by respect anyway? Well, for starters, if they
ask you to do something do it. Sure you might be in the middle
of something or maybe you are tired or busy. As soon as you do
what they want, you can go back to doing whatever it is that
you were doing. Spontaneous hugs, kisses and smiles will
brighten anyone's day.
The number one thing you should avoid, however, is attitude.
This is probably the most popular form of disrespect. Talking
back, rolling your eyes and making them "talk to the hand" all
fall under this category.
Allah says in the Qur'an: "And your Lord
has commanded that you shall not serve (any) but Him, and
goodness to your parents. If either or both of them reach old
age with you, say not to them (so much as) 'Uff' (an utterance
showing disgust) nor chide them, and speak to them a generous
word. And make yourself submissively gentle to them with
compassion, and say: O my Lord! have compassion on them, as
they brought me up (when I was ) little." [17: 23-24]
Say not to them so much as "Uff." "Uff" is not even a word! It
is just a sound you make when you exhale, showing displeasure.
If little old "Uff" is haram, (forbidden) what about outright
"no" or "I don't want to"? They are probably even more haram!
The Prophet Muhammad , sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said "(Of
the ) major sins are: to ascribe partners to Allah, disobey
parents, murder someone, and to take a false oath
(intentionally)." (Bukhari)
Of the major sins! Do you really want Allah to punish you or be
upset with you just because you did not set the table? Or
because you did not do what your dad asked because he does not
know what is cool? Besides, your mother did not even have a
choice when you needed your demands met. She just held her
breath and changed you as fast as she could before she faints
from lack of oxygen.
Furthermore, you should know that what goes around, comes
around. The way you treat your parents, your children will
treat you. You should not show everyone outside the home
respect and your good side but when you come home you show your
parents the opposite. You should treat them the way you want to
be treated by not only your children but by your friends,
classmates and teachers.
Some tips you can try are responding to their requests with a
"sure" or "of course". These are little words that go a long
way. Surprise them by taking out the trash or offer to watch
your siblings while they go out for a nice dinner. They will
see you in a different light and they will respect you more.
Your parents will be so pleased with you that they might even
decide to give you a 100 dollars shopping spree every week! Woo
hoo ! Ok, maybe not. But they will definitely be happy with you
and most importantly, Allah will be happy with you, too.
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