Etiquette towards One's Children
     
A Muslim recognizes that a child has rights over his parents that he
must fulfill. Furthermore, there are some manners and etiquette that
must be followed between the two. These are to be found in the parent
choosing a good name for his child, to sacrifice an Aqiqah (sacrifice
of sheep) for his child on the seventh day of his birth, circumcising
him, having mercy and gentleness with him, providing for him,
bringing him up in a proper way, being concerned with his cultural
and social upbringing, teaching him about Islam and training him to
fulfill the obligatory and recommended aspects as well as other
manners. This continues until the child is married off, at which time
he will give him the choice to stay under his guardianship or to move
off on his own. These are all based on the following evidences from
the Qur'an and Sunnah.

1. Allah says in the Qur'an: "The mothers shall give suck to their
children for two whole years, (that is) for those (parents) who
desire to complete the term of suckling, but the father of the child
shall bear the cost of the mother's food and clothing on a reasonable
basis." (2:233)
Allah also says: "O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your
families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, which
are angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not the commands they
receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded." (66:6)

In this Verse, there is a command to protect the family from the Hell-
fire. This is done by obeying Allah. This obedience of Allah requires
that one know what Allah has obligated him to do. This cannot come
about without learning. Therefore, since the father is from the group
of men, the Verse is evidence that it is obligatory upon the father
to teach his child, educate him, guide him and lead him to what is
best and the obedience of Allah and His Messenger (SAWS).

2. When Allah's Messenger (SAWS) was asked about the greatest sins,
he replied: "To associate an equal to Allah while He created you, to
kill your child out of fear that he would eat from your food, and to
commit adultery with your neighbor's wife." (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

The prohibition of killing one's children is a necessary consequence
of having mercy for them and protecting their body, minds and soul
from harm.

The Prophet (SAWS) said concerning having an Aqeeqa for the child:
"A boy is being held in pledge for his Aqiqah that is slaughtered for
him on the seventh day. He should also be named on that day and have
his hair shaven from his head." (Abu Dawud)

It is also narrated that Allah's Messenger (SAWS) said: "Honor your
children and bring them up well. Verily, your children are a gift for
you." (Ibn Majah)

Allah's Messenger (SAWS) is also reported to have said: "Be equitable
among your children when it comes to giving to them. If I were to
give preference to anyone, I would give preference to the females."
(Al-Baihaqi)

Allah's Messenger (SAWS) also said: "Teach the child to pray at the
age of seven and beat them to do it at the age of ten. And separate
them in their bedding." (Abu Dawud)

Concerning the right of the child upon the father, it is also
mentioned in reports that the father must educate the child in a good
way and choose a good name for him. 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with
him) once said, "From the rights of the child upon the father is that
he teaches him writing and archery and that he not feed him with
anything except what is legal and pure." It is also narrated that he
said: "Marry from the pious households, for verily genetics has a
strong effect."

Once a Bedouin was showing his children what a favor he did to them
by choosing their mother, he told them: "The first good thing I did
towards you was my choosing of a good noble family whose ancestors
were chaste."

Summarized from: Islamic Etiquette
By: Abu Bakr Al-Jazairi
Translated by: Jamaal Zarabozo