The
Ten Commandments of
Love 
|
I.
|
I am thy Main Squeeze;
thou shalt squeeze no others before me. |
|
II.
|
Thou shalt not take the
name of thy Squeeze in vain, nor badmouth me behind
my back. |
|
III.
|
Remember our Anniversary,
and keep it holy...Or else. |
|
IV.
|
Honor MY mother and
father. THINE are too darned weird. |
|
V.
|
Thou shalt not kill my
love by behaving tackily and making me embarrassed
to be seen with thee. |
|
VI.
|
Thou shalt not commit
adultery, nor shalt thou even THINK about it
if thou knowest what's good
for thee. |
|
VII.
|
Thou shalt not steal from
my purse/wallet while I am in thy bathroom,
nor use my credit cards, nor
make long-distance calls from my telephone. |
|
VIII.
|
Thou shalt not talk about
our personal problems to our friends. |
|
IX.
|
Thou shalt not covet the
higher market price of thy neighbor's house. |
|
X.
|
Thou shalt not covet thy
neighbor's Squeeze, nor son or daughter, nor
stereo, nor BMW |
