Why
should you, a young Muslim, be helping to bring your friends
closer to Allah? After all, you've got your own struggles to
deal with: trying to explain to hostile teachers why you pray,
Hijab discrimination, standing up in class when the professor
attacks Islam, dealing with parents who think you've gone nuts
because you're growing a beard, or all the other difficulties
faced by a number of practicing Muslim youth?
Islam
was never meant to be an individualistic faith, reserved for
the "chosen few". Muslims have a duty to spread the Deen; and
practicing Muslim youth, whether beginners, activists or
leaders, have a crucial role to play.
"Allah
has put them in a position that perhaps no one else is in,"
notes Sheema Khan, former Muslim Youth of North America (MYNA)
advisor for eastern Canada. "They have the means to communicate
with their peers, they have an understanding of what they're
going through plus they have the guidance of Islam."
Who is
your childhood friend going to listen to? Who is your childhood
friend, who would rather spend Fridays at McDonalds's than the
Masjid, or your classmate who is Muslim in name and only knows
that "Muslims don't eat pork" going to listen to: the nice Imam
of the Masjid who would freak out if he saw the way they were
dressed and talked or you who may have grown up with them,
joked with them, or see them everyday in school?
The
answer is obvious: You.
Don't
panic. Here are some tips and advice which can help. These are
advises from other Muslims, many of whom have been there and
done that:
Tip #
1 : Make Your Intention Sincere
All work
we do should ideally be for the sake of Allah. That includes
the task of bringing someone closer to Allah. That of course
means this should not be connected to arrogance, thinking
you're the teacher and everyone else should be lucky you've
embarked on a crusade to save them. Guidance is from Allah.
Make Dua and make sincere efforts and remember Allah.
Tip #
2 : Practice What You Preach
Not
practicing what you preach is wrong and you will lose the
confidence of anyone, young or old, once they figure you out.
Don't do it.
Tip #
3 : Use The Qur'an, Seerah of the Prophet and Ahlulbait (peace
be upon them)
As
TABLIGH Guides Read and understand those chapters of the Qur'an
which talk about how the Prophets presented the message of
Islam to their people.
Read the
Seerah to see especially how the Prophet Muhammad and Ahlulbait
peace and blessings be upon them) brought Islam to so many
different people, including young people.
As well,
talk to Tabligh workers, and check out manuals they may have
written, like Yahiya
Emerick's How to Tell Others About Islam.
Tip #
4 : Talk To People As If You Really Don't Know Them
Don't
assume you know someone just by looking at them. You don't know
that the Muslim girl in your homeroom who walks through the
school's hallways as if they were fashion show catwalks, is not
someone you can talk to about Allah because she looks like a
snob. Or that the Muslim guy who you've never seen at Juma at
your university is a "bad Muslim". Maybe he was never really
taught Islam and has no idea what importance Friday prayers
have in Islam, especially for Muslim men.
Tip #
5 : Smile
Did you
know the Prophet was big on smiling? But many "practicing"
Muslims seem to have "their faces on upside down" as one
speaker once said-frowning and serious. Smiling, being polite
and kind are all part of the manners of the Prophet, which we
must exercise in our daily lives. If we want to approach others
with Islam, we have to make ourselves approachable. Smiling is
key to this.
But note
that being approachable does not mean being flirtations with
the other gender. There are Islamic rules for how men and women
should deal with each other which have to be respected. Tabligh
is no excuse to have long and private conversations and
meetings with the other sex, for example. Set up a system where
someone expressing an interest in Islam is referred to someone
of the same sex.
Tip #
6 : Take The Initiative & Hang Out With Them
Take the
first step and invite someone you may have spoken to a couple
of times to sit at lunch together, to check out a hockey game
or invite them over for Iftaar in Ramadan.
Also,
share difficulties, sorrows and frustrations. Help with
homework, be a shoulder to cry on when depression hits, or just
plain listen when your friend is upset, discuss common problems
and KEEP THEIR SECRETS. There are few things as annoying as a
snitch and backstabber. But an important note: if the problem
is of a serious nature, (i.e. your friend is thinking of
committing suicide or is taking drugs), notify and consult an
adult immediately.
Tip #
7 : Show Them Islam Is Relevant Today, Right Here, Right Now
Young
people may think Islam is too "old fashioned" and not in tune
with the modern age.
Prove
this wrong. Show how Islam is really about relating to Allah,
which any human being can do, anywhere, anytime. Allah is
always closer to you than your jugular vein and He hears and
knows everything. Encourage friends to ask Allah's help during
tests, exams, and in dealing with problems at home with parents
and siblings. Also point out how Islam relates to teenagers:
Islam gives you focus and an understanding of who you are and
where you are going, which most of "teen culture" does not.
Tip #
8 : Get Them Involved In Volunteer Work With You
If you
are already involved in the community, get your friend to help
out. Ask them to make a flyer for one of your youth group's
events or brainstorm for ideas about activities to hold this
school year. This involvement makes them feel part of the
Muslim community and deepens your friendship, since you are now
working together on something beneficial for both of you. Make
sure you thank them for their contribution.
Tip #
9 : Ask Them 4 Fundamental Questions
As your
friendship develops, you will notice the topics you discuss may
become more serious. You may be discussing, for instance,
future goals and plans. Khan recommends four questions to ask
that can steer the topic to Allah and Islam:
a. Where
am I going in life and what would make me really happy deep
down inside?
b. What do I believe?
c. Who should I be
grateful to?
d. Did I get to where I am
today without the help of anyone?
Tip #
10 : Emphasize Praying 5 Times A Day Before Any Other Aspect Of
Islam
A
person's main connection with Allah, on a daily basis, is
through the prayer five times a day. Don't emphasize any other
aspect of Islam until your friend starts making a real effort
to pray five times a day. Emphasize the direct connection one
has with Allah in prayer. If they are facing a problem, tell
them to pray, and to ask Allah for help in Salah and outside
this time. When possible, make it a point to pray together
during your "hang out time". If your friend begins to pray,
that is the first step to other aspects of Islam like giving up
swearing, treating parents with respect or dressing Islamically.
Tip #
11 : Help Instill Confidence In Adults
Adults,
like Bart Simpson's dad Homer, are considered bumbling idiots
in the eyes of "teen culture". Your job as a young Muslim is to
help turn the tables on this false and un-Islamic belief. All
you have to do is this: when a Muslim adult does something good
(i.e. saving someone's life, donating money to a worthy cause,
the Imam gives a good speech, taking good care of his/her
family) bring it up in the course of your conversations with
your friend and praise the adult in question. Doing this
regularly may not only change your friend's perspective, but
could lead to them seeing their own parents in a more
respectful way.
Tip #
12 : Support Them Even When They Become More Practicing
Remember, just
because a person starts practicing Islam more regularly, this
does not mean everything will be okay from this point onwards.
There will still be hard times, difficulties. There may be
times when your friend may have doubts about his or her
newfound practice of Islam. Be there to reassure them.