[Summarized from the book of Ihya' `Ulum
Ad-Din, written by Abu Hamid Al-Ghazali, (1058 - 1111 C.E.)]
The good relationship between people is
a result of good manners that cause people to like and love each
other, and unite with each other. On the other hand, bad
relationships and disunity are caused by bad manners. Good
manners are very important in Islam.
Allah (s.w.t.) said about His Prophet (s.a.w.):
And you have great manners [Al-Qur'an: Al-Qalam (68:4)].
Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) also said: I
am sent to complete the good manners (Ahmad and Al-Muwatta').
Allah (s.w.t.) described the true
believers as being brothers.
Allah (s.w.t.) said: The Believers are
not else than brothers [Al-Qur'an: Al-Hujurat (49:10)].
Allah (s.w.t.) also said: And you became
brothers because of His bounty [Al-Qur'an: Al `Imran (3:103)].
Muslims should be selective in choosing
close brothers.
The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: The person is
on his brother's faith; so, one should see whom he chooses as a
brother. (At-Tirmizi).
The contract of brotherhood is a bond
between you and your brother that confers upon your brother a
certain right touching your property, your person, your tongue,
and your heart - by way of forgiveness, prayer, sincerity,
loyalty, relief, and consideration.
The first duty of brotherhood is
material. The two brothers are of mutual assistance toward a
single aim. This entails a common participation in good fortune
and bad, a partnership in the future as in the present, and an
abandonment of possessiveness and selfishness. In thus sharing
one's property with one's brother there are three degrees.
Allah (s.w.t.) said: Or (from that)
whereof you hold the keys, or (from the house) of a friend. No
sin shall it be for you whether you eat together or apart. [Al-Qur'an:
An-Noor (24:61)].
The lowest degree of sharing one's
property with one's brother is when you place your brother on the
same footing as your slave or your servant, attending to his
needs from your surplus. That does not imply obliging him to ask.
To oblige him to ask is the ultimate shortcoming in brotherly
duty.
At the second degree, you place your
brother on the same footing as yourself. Here, he is like a
partner in your property.
At the highest degree, you prefer your
brother to yourself and set his needs before your own. This is
the final degree for those united in spiritual love.
The second duty of brotherhood is to
render personal aid in the satisfaction of needs, attending to
them without waiting to be asked, and giving them priority over
your own personal needs.
Here too there are different degrees, as
in the case of material support. The lowest degree consists in
attending to the need when asked and when in plenty, though with
joy and cheerfulness, showing pleasure and gratitude.
Allah (s.w.t.) said: (the believers are)
merciful among themselves [Al-Qur'an: Al-Fath (48:29)].
The third duty of brotherhood concerns
the tongue, which should sometimes be silent and at other times
speak out. As for silence, the tongue should not mention a
brother's faults in his absence or his presence. Rather should
you feign ignorance. You should not contradict him when he talks,
nor dispute nor argue with him. You should not pry and quiz him
about his affairs. On seeing him in the street or about some
business, you should not start a conversation about the object of
your coming and going, nor ask him about his, for perhaps it will
be troublesome to him to discuss it, or he may have to lie about
it.
Allah (s.w.t.) said: O, you who believe!
avoid suspicion, for you, some suspicion is a crime. And spy not,
neither backbite one another. Would one of you love to eat the
flesh of his brother? You abhor that! And keep your duty (to
Allah), for Allah is Relenting, Merciful. [Al-Qur'an: Al-Hujurat
(49:12)].
Anas said that Allah's Messenger (s.a.w.)
never faced anyone with something displeasing to him, for the
hurt comes immediately from the informant and only directly from
the original speaker.
The fourth duty of brotherhood is to use
the tongue for speaking out. Just as brotherhood calls for
silence about unpleasant things, so it requires the utterance of
favorable things. Indeed, this is more particularly a feature of
brotherhood, because anyone satisfied with silence alone might as
well seek the fellowship of the People of the Tombs.
You should use your tongue to express
affection to your brother, provide him with your advice, thank
him for what he does to you, communicate to him the praise of
anyone who praises him, and more important, defend him and
protect his honor in his absence.
The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: The Muslim is
a brother to the Muslim. He does not do wrong to him, does not
forsake him, and does not betray him. (Muslim).
The fifth duty of brotherhood is
forgiveness of mistakes and failings. The failing of a friend
must be one of two kinds - either in his religion, through the
commission of an offense - or in his duty to you, through an
omission in brotherhood. In the case of religion, where he
commits an offense and persists in it, you must advise him kindly
so as to supply his deficiency, put his affairs in order, and
restore him to a correct and virtuous state.
The sixth duty of brotherhood is to pray
for your brother, during his life and after his death that he may
have all he might wish for himself, his family and his
dependents. For in reality your prayer for him is a prayer for
yourself.
The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: Whenever a
Muslim prays for his brother in secret, the angel say: And to you
the same! (Muslim).
The seventh duty of brotherhood is
loyalty and sincerity. The meaning of loyalty is steadfastness in
love and maintaining it to the death with your brother, and after
his death with his children and his fellows. For love is for the
sake of the hereafter. So once a brother gets promoted to a
high-ranking position, or after he becomes rich or famous, you
must not depart from him.
It is related that the Prophet (s.a.w.),
once gave a hearty welcome to an old woman who called upon him.
When asked about it he said: She used to come to us in the days
of Khadijah, and honoring true friendship is part of religion.
(Al-Hakim).
The eighth duty of brotherhood is relief
from discomfort and inconvenience. You should not discomfort your
brother with things that are awkward for him. Rather should you
ease his heart of its cares and needs, and spare him having to
assume any of your burdens.
It is good to end this article with this
Hadith:
The Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said:
loves for his brother what he loves for himself (Al-Bukhari and
Muslim).