Becoming Muslim
Afrah Alshaibani
May 2, 1996. Ever since I can remember, my family
attended a non-denominational conservative Christian church
(Church of Christ). I grew up in the church, taught bible school
and sang in the choir. As a young teenager I began asking
questions (as I think everyone does at one point in their lives):
Why was I a member of the Church of Christ and not say Lutheran,
Catholic or Methodist? If various churches are teaching
conflicting doctrine, how do we know which one is right? Are they
all right? Do `all paths lead to God' as I had heard some say?
Others say that as long as you are a good person it doesn't
matter what you believe - is that true?
After some soul searching I decided that I did believe that
there was an ultimate truth and in an attempt to find that truth
I began a comparison study of various churches. I decided that I
believed in the Bible and would join the church that best
followed the Bible. After a lengthy study, I decided to stay with
the Church of Christ, satisfied that its doctrines were
biblically sound (unaware at this stage that there could be
various interpretations of the Bible).
I spent a year at Michigan Christian College, a small college
affiliated with the Churches of Christ, but was not challenged
academically and so transferred to Western Michigan University.
Having applied late for student housing, I was placed in the
international dorm. Although my roommate was American, I felt
surrounded by strange people from strange places. It was in fact
my first real experience with cultural diversity and it scared me
(having been raised in a white, middle class, Christian
community). I wanted to change dorms but there wasn't anything
available. I did really like my roommate and decided to stick out
the semester.
My roommate became very involved in the dorm activities and
got to know most everyone in the dorm. I however performed with
the marching band and spent most of my time with band people.
Marching season soon ended and finding myself with time on my
hands, I joined my roommate on her adventures around the dorm. It
turned out to be a wonderful, fascinating experience! There were
a large number of Arab men living in the dorm. They were
charming, handsome, and a lot of fun to be around. My roommate
started dating one of them and we ended up spending most of our
time with the Arabs. I guess I knew they were Muslims (although
very few of them were practicing). We never really
discussed religion, we were just having fun.
The year passed and I had started seeing one of the Arabs.
Again, we were just enjoying each other's company and never
discussed our religious differences. Neither of us were
practicing at this time so it never really became an issue for
us. I did, deep down, feel guilty for not attending church, but I
pushed it in the back of my mind. I was having too much fun.
Another year passed and I was home for summer vacation when my
roommate called me with some very distressing news: she'd become
a Muslim!! I was horrified. She didn't tell me why she converted,
just that she had spent a lot of time talking with her
boyfriend's brother and it all made sense to her. After we hung
up, I immediately wrote her a long letter explaining that she was
ruining her life and to just give Christianity one more chance.
That same summer my boyfriend transferred to Azusa Pacific
University in California. We decided to get married and move to
California together. Again, since neither one were practicing,
religion was not discussed.
Secretly I started reading books on Islam. However I read
books that were written by non-Muslims. One of the books I read
was Islam Revealed by Anis Sorosh. I felt guilty about
my friend's conversion. I felt that if I had been a better
Christian, she would have turned to the church rather than Islam.
Islam was a man-made religion, I believed, and filled with
contradictions. After reading Sorosh's book, I thought I could
convert my friend and my husband to Christianity.
At APU, my husband was required to take a few religion
courses. One day he came home from class and said: "The more I
learn about Christianity, the stronger my belief in Islam
becomes." At about this same time he started showing signs of
wanting to practice his religion again. Our problems began. We
started talking about religion and arguing about our different
beliefs. He told me I should learn about Islam and I told him I
already knew everything I needed to know. I got out Sorosh's book
and told him I could never believe in Islam. My husband is not a
scholar by any stretch of the imagination, yet he had an answer
for everything I showed him in Sorosh's book. I was impressed by
his knowledge. He told me that if I really wanted to learn about
Islam it must be through Islamic sources. He bought a few books
for me from an Islamic bookstore and I started taking classes at
a local mosque. What a difference the Islam I learned about from
Muslim sources from the Islam I learned about from non-Muslims!
It was so difficult though when I actually decided to convert.
My pride stood in the way for awhile. How could I admit to my
husband and my friend that they were right all along? I felt
humiliated, embarrassed. Soon though, I could deny the truth no
longer, swallowed my pride, and alhamdulilah, embraced Islam -
the best decision I ever made.
A few things I want to say to the non-Muslim reader:
- When I originally began my search for the truth all those
years ago, I made a few wrong assumptions. First, I assumed
that the truth is with Christianity only. It never occurred to
me at that time to look outside Christianity. Second, I assumed
that the Bible was the true Word of God. These were bad
assumptions because they prohibited me from looking at things
objectively. When I began my earnest study of Islam, I had to
start at the very beginning, with no preconceived ideas. I was
not a Christian looking at Islam; I looked at both Islam and
Christianity (and many other religions) from the point of view
of an outsider. My advice to you is to be a critical thinker
and a critical reader.
- Another mistake that many people make when talking about
Islam is that they pick out a certain teaching and judge the
whole of Islam on that one point. For example, many people say
that Islam is prejudiced towards women because Islamic laws of
inheritance award the male twice as much as the female. What
they fail to learn, however, is that males have financial
responsibilities in Islam that females do not have. It is like
putting a puzzle together: until you have all the pieces in the
right places, you cannot make a statement about the picture,
you cannot look at one little piece of the puzzle and judge the
whole picture.
- Many people said that the only reason I converted was
because of my husband. It is true that I studied Islam because
he asked me to - but I accepted Islam because it is the truth.
My husband and I are currently separated and plan to divorce in
June, insha' Allah. My faith in Islam has never been stronger
than it is now. I look forward to finding a practicing Muslim
husband, insha' Allah, and growing in my faith and practice.
Being a good Muslim is my number one priority.
May Allah lead all of us closer to the truth.