When Friends Hurt Each Other
Imam Malik one day entered
the Masjid after Asr. Towards the front of Masjid An-Nabawi he
drew closer and sat down. Rasul Allah had commanded that anyone
who enters the Masjid should not sit until he first prays 2 rakas
as a salutation of the Masjid. Imam Malik was of the opinion
however that Rasul Allahs forbiddance of praying after Asr took
precedence and so he would teach his students to not pray the
tahiyyatul Masjid if they entered between the Asr and Maghrib
time.
At that moment that Imam Malik sat down, a
young boy had seen him sit without first praying the 2 rakas of
Tahiyyatul Masjid. The young boy scorned him, “Get up and pray 2
rakas!”
Imam Malik dutifully stood up once again and
began praying the 2 rakas. The students sat stunned: What was
going on? Had Imam Malik’s opinion changed?
After he had completed the salah, the
students swarmed around and questioned his actions. Imam Malik
said, “My opinion has not changed, nor have I gone back on what I
taught you earlier. I merely feared that had I not prayed the 2
rakas as the young boy commanded, Allah may include me in the
Ayah…
“And when it is said to them, ‘Bow (in
prayer)’, they do not bow.” - Al Mursalat [77:48]
Imam Ahmad held the opinion that eating
camel meat nullifies ones Wudu, an opinion that the majority of
scholars differed from. Some students asked him, “If you find an
Imam eating camel meat in front of you and – without first making
Wudu - then leads the Salah, would you pray behind him?” Imam
Ahmad replied, “Do you think I would not pray behind the likes of
Imam Malik and Sa’eed ibn Al-Musayyab?”
Allah created humans with differences. It is
the law of creation. Different tongues, different colors,
different cultures… all that on the outside. On the inside,
humans were created with many degrees of knowledge, intellect,
and comprehension of concepts. This is all a sign of Allah’s all
encompassing power to do whatever He wills:
“And among His signs is the creation of
the heavens and the earth, and the variations in your languages
and your colors: verily in that are signs for those who know.” –
Ar-Rum [30:22]
Humans shall differ, that is not the issue.
The issue is: How as a Muslim should one confront these
differences of opinions and what should be our relationship with
someone of a different opinion.
Allah Ta’ala commanded us to call and advise
people in this Deen of Al-Islam. Many Muslims set off on this
mission blindfolded, not realizing that the map was there in the
Qur’an also. In fact, in the very same verse where Allah
commanded us to call and advise people in this Deen, Allah taught
us how to do it. Read the following verse carefully:
“Invite (fi’l Amr – Allah is commanding)
to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction and
argue with them in a way that is best!” – Surah An-Nahl [16:125]
There is no need to philosophize. No need to
talk in the flower gardens. It is right there, plain and simple
for anyone who would take heed.
There in that Ayah are the three ingredients
to apply when we disagree with someone. The same Allah that
taught us to debate the truth, taught us how to do it:
1. With Hikmah
2. With good
instruction, and
3. To argue in a way
that is best.
What does it mean to have Hikmah
when differing with someone?
The nephews of Rasul Allah once set one the
most beautiful examples of Hikmah in advising others. Al-Hasan
and Al-Husain – in their young age - once saw a senior man
performing Wudu incorrectly. Together they arranged a plan to
teach the man without insulting him, advising him in a manner
befitting of his age.
Together they went to the senior and announced,
“My brother and I have differed over who amongst us performs Wudu
the best. Would you mind being the judge to determine which one
of us indeed performs Wudu more correctly.”
The man watched intently as the two grandsons
of Rasul Allah performed Wudu in an explicit manner. After they
had completed, he thanked them and said, “By Allah, I did not
know how to perform Wudu before this. You have both taught me how
to do it correctly.”
We must understand that there are two
dimensions to Hikmah. Firstly, there is the Hikmah of knowledge –
Hikmah Ilmiyyah. And secondly, there is the Hikmah of Action –
Hikmah Amaliyyah.
Some people may have Hikmah of knowledge. But
we see that when they try correcting others, advising them, they
lack the Hikmah of Action. This causes many a common folk to
reject the Hikmah of knowledge.
To illustrate this hikmah of knowledge without
Hikmah of action, a brother once completed the Salah in a local
Masjid and then proceeded to shake hands with the people on his
right and left. The brother to his immediate right slapped his
hand and snapped, “That is not part of the Sunnah!” The man
replied most correctly, “Oh, is disrespect and insult part of the
Sunnah?”
To show Hikmah when we differ requires the
following:
Sincerity
One: If we differ, our intentions should be
that we are differing in the sincere hope of coming away with the
truth. Our intentions should be sincere to Allah.
We should not differ just to release some hate
or envy in our heart. We should not differ to embarrass someone
like we may have been embarrassed.
Rasul Allah said “Whoever learns knowledge
– knowledge from that which should be sought for the sake of
Allah – only to receive a commodity of the material world, he
shall not find the fragrance of Jannah on the day of
resurrection.” – An authentic haddith narrated by Abu Dawood in
Kitab Al-Ilm.
Kindness and Gentleness
Two: To have Hikmah when differing means we
should rarely depart from an atmosphere of kindness and
gentleness, we should seldom allow ourselves to become angry and
raise our voices.
Fir’aun was one of the evilest people that
lived. Prophet Musa (as) was one of the noblest. Look at how
Allah told Musa (as) to advise Fir’aun…
“Go, both of you, to Fir’aun. Indeed, he
has transgressed. And speak to him with gentle speech, perhaps he
may remember or fear (Allah).” – Ta ha [20:43-44]
A man once entered upon the Khalifah and
chastised him for some policies he had taken. The Khalifah
replied, “By Allah, Fir’aun was more eviler than me. And by
Allah, Musa was more pious than you. Yet, Allah commanded him…
“And speak to him with gentle speech, perhaps he may remember or
fear (Allah).”
Take Your Time and Clarify
Three: To have Hikmah when dealing with others
is to be patient and clarify things before snapping to
conclusions.
Imam Ahmad narrates with his chain of narrators
leading to Ibn Abbas who said, “A man from Bani Saleem passed by
a group of the Prophet’s companions. (At that time of war) The
man said ‘Assalamu Alaikum’ to them. The companions concluded
that he only said ‘Assalamu Alaikum’ to them as a deception to
save himself from being caught. They surrounded him and Malham
ibn Juthaamah killed him. From that event Allah revealed the
verse…
“O you who have believed, when you go forth
(to fight) in the cause of Allah, investigate, and do not say to
one who gives you (a greeting of peace), “You are not a
believer,” Aspiring for the goods of worldly life; for with Allah
are many acquisitions. You (yourselves) were like that before;
then Allah conferred His favor (i.e. guidance) upon you, so
investigate. Indeed, Allah is ever with what you do, acquainted.”
– Surah AnNisa [4:94] From Tafseer Ibn Katheer.
Speak Kindly
Fourthly, never trade in kind words for
harshness, especially when dealing with other Muslims.
Look at the power of a sincere and polite word:
Mus’ab ibn Umayr was the first of ambassador of
Rasul Allah in Madinah. Before Rasul Allah had arrived in Madinah,
Mus’ab taught ahl al-Madinah about Islam and they began to enter
the Deen.
This enraged Sa’d ibn ‘Ubaadah, one of the
chieftains of Madinah. He sheathed his sword and set off for the
head of Mus’ab ibn ‘Umayr. When he confronted Mus’ab he
threatened, “Stop this nonsense you speak or you shall find
yourself dead!”
Mus’ab replied in the way that should be a
lesson for us all. This man before him did not stop at rudeness
and ignorance, he wanted to slit his throat.
Mus’ab said, “Shall you not sit and listen for
a few moments. If you agree with what I say then take it, and if
not, we shall desist from this talk.” Sa’d sat down.
Mus’ab spoke about Allah and His messenger
until the face of Sa’d ibn Ubaadah’s face shone like a full moon
and he said, “What should a person do who wishes to enter into
this Deen?” After Mus’ab had told him he said, “There is a man,
if he accepts this Deen, there shall be no home in Madinah that
will not become Muslim.
Look at what a kind word did. Sa’d ibn Mu’aadh
went home to his Madinan tribe that night and announced to them
all, “Everything of yours is Haram upon me until you all enter
into Islam.”
That night, every home in Madinah went to bed
with Laa ilaaha illa Allah … all because of a kind word.
... Who Wins? ...