Selecting a Marriage Partner
Marriage is recommended for partners who share a common
way of life. The matrimonial partners should be able to fulfill
their purpose of creation as defined by Allah. They should be
able to effectively carry out their responsibility as
care-takers (khalifah) of earth. They should share the common
goal of building a well integrated Muslim community and be able
to work harmoniously towards it.
Criteria for Selecting a Marriage
Partner
Normally the criteria for selecting matrimonial mates are many:
wealth, beauty, rank, character, congeniality, compatibility,
religion, etc. The Quran enjoins Muslims to select partners who
are good and pure (tayyib)
"Women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are
for women of purity "(Quran 24:26)
Prophet Muhammad (S) recommended Muslims to select those
partners who are best in religion (din) and character.
"A woman may married for four reasons: for her property, for
her rank, for her beauty, and for her religion (and character).
So marry the one who is best in the religion and character and
prosper". (Bukhari and Muslim)
Prophet Muhammad (S) assured the bounty of Allah to those who
wish to get married and live a pure and clean life.
"Three groups of people Allah obliged Himself to help them:
Mujahid in the cause of Allah, a worker to pay his debt, and
the one who wants to marry to live a chaste life". (Tirmidhi)
Freedom to Choose a Marriage Partner
Islam has given freedom of choice to those who wish to get
married. The mutual choice of the would-be-spouses is given the
highest consideration:
"do not prevent them from marrying their husbands when they
agree between themselves in a lawful manner" (Quran 2:232)
The process of mate selection should be a function of a healthy
balance between the freedom of choice of the would-be-spouses
and consideration of the influence and consent of the
parents/guardians.
The freedom of choice of those who wish to get married should
not preclude the influence and consent of the parents/guardians
nor should the parents/guardians ignore the wishes and consent
of the would be spouses.
Falling in love is not a pre-condition for marriage in Islam.
However, for the purpose of selecting an appropriate mat, the
would-be-spouses are allowed to see and/or talk to each other.
Prophet Muhammad (S) recommended:
"When one of you seeks a woman in marriage, and then if he is
able to have a look at whom he wishes to marry, let him do so".
(Abu Dawood)
The would-be-spouse are allowed to see each other for
matrimonial purposes under the direct supervision of their
mahram relatives. This provision is expected to be conceived
and executed with piety and modesty.
Prophet Muhammad (S) instructed:
"No man has the right to be in the privacy with a woman who is
not lawful for him. Satan is their third party unless there is
a mahram". (Ahmad)
The would-be-spouses residing in non-Muslim societies are
recommended to enter into a pre-nuptial commitment to safeguard
Islamic values and Muslim personal law.
May Allah Bless our Ummah!