How to make your Wife happy ?



Beautiful Reception
After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated
you:

Begin with a good greeting.
Start with Assalamau 'Aliaykum and a smile. Salam is a sunnah and a
du'aa for her as well.
Shake her hand and leave bad news for later!

Sweet Speech and Enchanting Invitations
Choose words that are positive and avoid negative ones.
Give her your attention when you speak of she speaks.
Speak with clarity and repeat words if necessary until she
understands.
Call her with the nice names that she likes, e.g. my sweet-heart,
honey, saaliha, etc.

Friendliness and Recreation
Spend time talking together.
Spread to her goods news.
Remember your good memories together. 

Games and Distractions
Joking around & having a sense of humor.
Playing and competing with each other in sports or whatever.
Taking her to watch permissible (halal) types of entertainment.
Avoiding prohibited (haram) things in your choices of
entertainment. 

Assistance in the Household
Doing what you as an individual can/like to do that helps out,
especially if she is sick or tired.
The most important thing is making it obvious that he appreciates
her hard work.

Consultation (Shurah)
Specifically in family matters.
Giving her the feeling that her opinion is important to you.
Studying her opinion carefully.
Be willing to change an opinion for hers if it is better.
Thanking her for helping him with her opinions. 

Visiting Others
Choosing well raised people to build relations with. There is a
great reward in visiting relatives and pious people. (Not in wasting
time while visiting!)
Pay attention to ensure Islamic manners during visits.
Not forcing her to visit whom she does not feel comfortable with. 

Conduct During Travel
Offer a warm farewell and good advice.
Ask her to pray for him.
Ask pious relatives and friends to take care of the family in your
absence.
Give her enough money for what she might need.
Try to stay in touch with her whether by phone, e-mail, letters,
etc..
Return as soon as possible.
Bring her a gift!
Avoid returning at an unexpected time or at night.
Take her with you if possible.

Financial Support
The husband needs to be generous within his financial capabilities.
He should not be a miser with his money (nor wasteful).
He gets rewards for all what he spends on her sustenance even for a
small piece of bread that he feeds her by his hand (hadeith).
He is strongly encouraged to give to her before she asks him.

Smelling Good and Physical Beautification
Following the Sunnah in removing hair from the groin and underarms.
Always being clean and neat.
Put on perfume for her.
Intercourse
It is obligatory to do it habitually if you have no excuse
(sickness, etc.)
Start with "Bismillah" and the authentic du'a.
Enter into her in the proper place only (not the anus).
Begin with foreplay including words of love.
Continue until you have satisfied her desire.
Relax and joke around afterwards.
Avoid intercourse during the monthly period because it haram
Do what you can to avoid damaging her level of Hiyaa (shyness and
modesty) such as taking your clothes together instead of asking her
to do it first while he is looking on.
Avoid positions during intercourse that may harm her such as putting
pressure on her chest and blocking her breath, especially if you are
heavy.
Choose suitable times for intercourse and be considerate as
sometimes she maybe sick or exhausted.
Guarding Privacy
Avoid disclosing private information such as bedroom secrets, her
personal problems and other private matters.

Aiding in the Obedience to Allah
Wake her up in the last third of the night to pray "Qiyam-ul-Layl"
(extra prayer done at night with long sujood and ruku'ua).
Teach her what you know of the Qur'an and its tafseer.
Teach her "Dhikr" (ways to remember Allah by the example of the
prophet) in the morning and evening.
Encourage her to spend money for the sake of Allah such as in a
charity sale.
Take her to Hajj and Umrah when you can afford to do so. 
Showing Respect for her Family and Friends
Take her to visit her family and relatives, especially her parents.
Invite them to visit her and welcome them.
Give them presents on special occasions.
Help them when needed with money, effort, etc..
Keep good relations with her family after her death if she dies
first. Also in this case the husband is encouraged to follow the
sunnah and keep giving what she used to give in her life to her
friends and family.
 
(Islamic) Training & Admonition
This includes:

The basics of Islam
Her duties and rights
Reading and writing
Encouraging her to attend lessons and halaqahs
Islamic rules (ahkam) related to women
Buying Islamic books and tapes for the home library 

Admirable Jealousy
Ensure she is wearing proper hijab before leaving house.
Restrict free mixing with non-mahram men.

Avoiding excess jealousy.
Examples of this are:
    1- Analyzing every word and sentence she says and overloading
her speech by meanings that she did    not mean
    2- Preventing her from going out of the house when the reasons
are just.
    3- Preventing her from answering the phone.
Patience and Mildness
Problems are expected in every marriage so this is normal. What is
wrong is excessive responses and magnifying problems until a marital
breakdown.
Anger should be shown when she exceeds the boundaries of Allah SWT,
by delaying prayers, backbiting, watching prohibited scenes on TV,
etc..
Forgive the mistakes she does to you.

Correcting her Mistakes

First, implicit and explicit advice several times.
Then by turning your back to her in bed (displaying your feelings).
Note that this does not include leaving the bedroom to another room,
leaving the house to another place, or not talking with her.
The last solution is lightly hitting (when allowable) her. In this
case, the husband should consider the following:
He should know that sunnah is to avoid beating as the Prophet PBUH
never beat a woman or a servant.
He should do it only in extreme cases of disobedience, e.g. refusing
intercourse without cause frequently, constantly not praying on
time, leaving the house for long periods of time without permission
nor refusing to tell him where she had been, etc..
It should not be done except after having turned from her bed and
discussing the matter with her as mentioned in Qur'an .
He should not hit her hard injuring her, or hit her on her face or
on sensitive parts of her body.
He should avoid shaming her such as by hitting her with a shoe, etc.

Pardoning and Appropriate Censure
Accounting her only for larger mistakes.
Forgive mistakes done to him but account her for mistakes done in
Allah's rights, e.g. delaying prayers, etc..
Remember all the good she does whenever she makes a mistake.
Remember that all humans err so try to find excuses for her such as
maybe she is tired, sad, having her monthly cycle or that her
commitment to Islam is growing.
Avoid attacking her for the bad cooking of the food as the Prophet
PBUH never blamed any of his wives for this. If he likes the food,
he eats and if he doesn't then he does not eat and does not comment.
Before declaring her to be in error, try other indirect approaches
that are more subtle than direct accusations
Escape from using insults and words that may hurt her feelings.
When it becomes necessary to discuss a problem wait until you have
privacy from others.
Waiting until the anger has subsided a bit can help to keep a
control on your words.

Finally, please make Du'a for the writer; Sheikh Mohammad
Abdelhaleem Hamed, for the translator brother Abu Talhah and for
reviewer Br. Adam Qurashi. Remember this is not a perfect
translation so forgive us our faults and correct our errors. Muslim
Students' Association University of Alberta Edmonton, Canada
February, 1999.

Taken from : Al-Haramain.org Newsletter

http://www.islamway.com/eng/html/article.php?sid=89

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[10 Tips] How to be a Successful Husband
Posted on Friday, June 29 @ 09:56:46 CDT 

Prepared by : Muhammad AlShareef

1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good.When was the
last time us men went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the
husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her
husband to dress up for her too. Remember that Rasul Allah - sal
Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would always start with Miswak when
returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.

2. Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu
alayhi wa sallam - had nicknames for his wives, ones that they
loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid
using names that hurt their feelings.

3. Don't treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our
daily lives until it 'bugs' us. Similarly, a wife will do well all
day - which brings no attention from the husband - until she does
something to 'bug' him. Don't treat her like this; recognize all the
good that she does and focus on that.

4. If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not
comment! This is one of the ways Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa
sallam - used when he would see something inappropriate from his
wives - radi Allahu 'anhunn. It's a technique that few Muslim men
have mastered.

5. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often.
Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim
Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember
also those Ahadith when Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam -
would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even if he was
fasting.

6. Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again!
Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans
the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only
acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in
the soup. Don't let that be; thank her!

7. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that
made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to
recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don't have to play a
guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your
life.

8. Don't be little her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may
look down upon the requests of their wives. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu
alayhi wa sallam set the example for us in an incident when
Safiyyah - radi Allahu 'anha - was crying because, as she said, he
had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and
brought her the camel.

9. Be humorous and Play games with your wife. Look at how Rasul
Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would race his wife Aisha -
radi Allahu 'anha - in the desert. When was the last time we did
something like that?

10. Always remember the words of Allah's Messenger - sal Allahu
alayhi wa sallam: "The best of you are those who treat their
families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family." Try
to be the best!

In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah - azza wa jall - to
make your marriage successful. And Allah ta'ala knows best !!