MANAGING STRESS IN YOUR LIFE

Have you experienced any of the following in the last six months? Marriage? Loss of a job? Death of a close family member? A new baby? If you have, you may be dealing with feelings of stress. Do you have too many things to do and not enough time? Do you often misplace items? Are the children constantly fighting or nagging each other?

Is it difficult to keep on top of the housecleaning? These and other "daily hassles" can also contribute to stress and may, in actuality, be the most significant source of stress. Stress is an inevitable part of the human condition because the world is a place of hardship and difficulty. Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, says, "Verily, We have created man in toil." [90:4]. When we feel that a particular event threatens our ability to cope effectively we will feel stressed. It is especially stressful when we appraise the situation as both negative and uncontrollable. When these events are perceived as challenges, they can have positive effects by arousing and motivating us to conquer them.

A western psychologist would tell you to cope with stress through physical exercise, relaxation techniques, changing negative thoughts, problem solving, optimism and hope, social support, etc. Although these techniques can be very beneficial and should be utilized, as Muslims we understand that Allah has given us tools above and beyond these. A few of these tools are outlined below:

1. Increasing Imaan (faith) and righteous Deeds

"Whoever works righteousness, man or woman, and has faith, verily, to him will We give a life that is good and pure, and We will bestow on such their reward according to the best of their actions." [16:97] A person with emaan understands how to deal with both joyful events and distressful or worrisome ones. When worried or stressed, the mu'min (believer) will be patient, rely upon Allah, and hope for ease and Allah's rewards. The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, said, "How marvelous is the affair of the believer! Everything that happens to him is good, and this does not apply to anyone except the believer. If something good befalls him, he gives thanks for it, and that is good for him. If something bad befalls him, he bears it with patience, and that is good for him." (Muslim). The believer understands that Allah presents us with tests as a way to increase our emaan and to become better Muslims. A companion asked the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, "O Messenger of Allah, which of the people suffers the most distress?" He said, "The Prophets, then those who come after them (in terms of status), then those who come after them. A man will be tested according to the strength of his faith. If his faith is strong, then the distress with which he is tried will be greater; if his faith is weak, he will be tested in accordance with the level of his faith. Distress will keep on befalling the slave until he walks on the face of the earth free from sin."(Bukhari) We should be joyful when difficulty befalls us because it is a blessing from Allah.

2) Remembering Expiation for Sins

Another reason we should rejoice when hardship strikes us is that it serves the purpose of increasing our hasanat (good deeds) and expiating our sins or bad deeds. The Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, said: "Nothing of fatigue, illness, distress, worry, grief or harm befalls the Muslim, not even a prick from a thorn, but Allah will accept it as expiation for some of his sins." (Agreed upon). We should be particularly happy when this happens after we have committed a sin because it is another blessing from Allah. The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, said: "When Allah wishes good for His slave, He hastens to bring about his punishment in this world, and if He does not wish good for him, He withholds the punishment until he is dealt with for his sin on the Day of Resurrection." (Tirmithi)

3) Remembering the Reality of This World, Death, and the Hereafter.

The believer constantly remembers that this world is only temporary, imperfect, and limited. The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, said: "This world is a prison for the believer and a paradise for the non-believer." (Muslim). Any affliction or hardship that befalls a person is only short-term and death will bring respite from the worries and pains of this life. As a result, there should be much remembrance of death and the hereafter. The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasalaam, said, "Remember frequently the one who will destroy all your pleasures; death. (Muslim). He also said, "Whoever has the Hereafter as his main concern, Allah will fill his heart with a feeling of richness and independence; he will be focused and feel content, and this world will come to him in spite of it. Whoever has this world as his main concern, Allah will cause him to feel constant fear of poverty; he will be distracted and unfocused, and he will have nothing of this world except what was already predestined for him." (Tirmithi)

4) Dhikr (Remembrance of Allah) and du'a (Supplication).

Dhikr and du'a can help calm the soul and prevent and relieve stress and worry. "Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest." [13:28]. The Prophet of Allah, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, taught us one of the most beneficial du'a. He said, "There is no one who is afflicted by distress and grief, and says, 'O Allah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your maidservant; my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every name belonging to You which You have named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the Unseen with You, that You make the Qur'an the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety,' but Allah will take away his distress and grief, and replace it with joy." (Ahmad)

There are many du'a that may be used to call upon Allah, but it is important to admit our servitude and submission to Allah and remember that Allah controls and directs. We should rely upon Allah, put our hope and trust in Him, and accept His decree. "And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him." [65:3] "And when My slaves ask you concerning Me, then (answer them), I am indeed near. I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me. So let them obey Me and believe in Me, so that they may be led aright." [2:186]

"O Allah, for Your mercy I hope, so do not leave me in charge of my affairs even for the blink of an eye; rectify all my affairs. There is no god except You." May Allah relieve each of us of our distress and worry.