Over
the course of about a year, a business relationship developed
and I was introduced to several other Muslim gentlemen and we
arranged that I would travel down to
Cairo
. It just so happened that my trip coincided with the holy
month of Ramadan. While in
Cairo
my hosts were celebrating Ramadan and so were all of the
individuals that we were meeting with. I was intrigued that
everyone was fasting and “suddenly disappearing”, to return
about 15 minutes later. To be part of the crowd I decided that
I would also begin to observe the days of fasting as a sign of
solidarity with my hosts. I left
Cairo
a few weeks later wondering about the ritual with which I had
just participated.
I later
returned to
Cairo
for business and was paired with someone in the marketing
section of one of the largest ISP’s in
Cairo
to talk about how to integrate wireless solutions into the
market down in
Cairo
. We were preparing for Cairo Telecomp, a large IT trade fair
that required many sleepless days and nights of preparation. My
host, Ms Noha, and I were together night and day working on the
presentation that we would deliver. I noticed that at certain
times of the day, she would simply excuse herself and suddenly
return about 15 minutes later. After a few days of
interruptions I confronted her as to what was so important that
she had to stop in the middle of or preparations. Shyly, and
after several minutes of question avoidance, she admitted that
she was going to do her daily prayers, and that she was
performing them at their prescribed times. My feelings of
annoyance quickly faded away and were replaced with feelings of
awe and respect. I too wanted to have this feeling of the
importance of God in my life. Slowly I began to ask more and
more questions about Islam and what it is like to be a Muslim.
Noha never pushed but used a gentle hand to guide me in the
direction where I could find the information that I needed to
learn more. I left
Egypt
at the end of Cairo Telecomp confused but with a desire and
burning on my heart, not to mention a suitcase full of books to
quench my thirst to learn more.
A quick
four-day trip brought me back to
Cairo
towards the end of March 2001. My first stop was to my virtual
Islam teacher, to ask her more questions about the things that
I had read. The time passed faster than what seemed expected on
this trip as there was not enough time in the day to work and
to talk about Islam. One important thing that I also realized
is that I had fallen in love. My heart was completely with the
warm and friendly people that I had grown to care for and to
feel as good friends. It was as if Allah was opening my heart
to another side of humanity that I had not known before. Being
from the West, one can easily become jaded and not trust or
accept the basic acts of kindness that seem to be pervasive in
the
Middle East . I felt that my heart had
found a home.
Six
long months passed by before I would step foot on Egyptian soil
once again. In the previous months, the company that I worked
for filed for bankruptcy and the thought of getting back down
to Cairo seemed farther and farther away, but I was determined
to continue my reading and learning and questioning. Finally,
on a warm summer night, while surfing the Internet a feeling or
an epiphany came over me. I felt that I was wanted no longer to
hold on to the things of my past or to live my life the way
that it was. Some people talk about seeing a light, or hearing
a voice, or something of this nature and I would be the first
to say that it sounds very theatrical but I too felt something
more than just a whisper but a push or an opening of my heart.
I wanted to scream, to shout, to cry, to dance, to run, to
laugh all at the same time. I had a complete flood of emotions
that to this day, I cannot explain, nor do I really need to.
Some things are better enjoyed rather than analyzed. I sent an
email to Noha, to tell her what I felt and to ask her what I
should do. She was gentle and kind and understood me
completely. She told me to relax, to settle down and to gather
my feelings. From this day forward, I decided that I had to
return to
Egypt
, to my people, to my home, to find what was calling me there.
My
chance to return came while working as a consultant for a
telecommunications consulting firm. I was to consult for a top
Egyptian company in the marketing section. I enjoyed the work
with Hatem, with whom I had a business relationship that was
cultivated a several months earlier through my other Egyptian
friends, Hany and Hisham, and I were very happy to work for a
friendly face. I departed for
Egypt
at the end of August with the hopes of completing my journey,
with the hopes of answering the call that I could not explain.
I
started working the next day at the offices where I met some
really nice people who immediately made me feel at home. On
this day, I met two people that would be instrumental in
helping me to make the steps that would point me down the road,
Mohamad and Sherief. Upon hearing that I wanted to know more
about Islam and to possibly convert, Mohamad invited me to a
men’s group where they talked about the Qur’an and the blessed
prophet. After the end of the meeting, we all prayed the
evening prayer, Isha. This was my first time to actually
participate in a group prayer, and to hear the Al Fatihah. It
was so moving and solemn. I could not help but cry as the words
from Allah moved my heart. The next day, I related the story to
Hatem and Sherief and they were very supportive. I continued to
read and ask questions and felt that my trek was drawing to a
close.
September 11th was the catalyst that began to bring things to a
close or to fruition. After the attack all of my work mates
came to me and offered their condolences and to say that this
is not Islam but something very terrible and please do not
think that Muslims are bad people. I could feel the pain and
sadness expressed by many. Measured by the climate followed the
attacks, people in the West would not believe that Muslims
really felt that way. I felt that these words of comfort spoke
for many Muslims around the world. As the next few weeks drew
on, it was clear that maybe the
Middle East was not a safe place for an
American, as sentiment against American policy, not Americans,
were running rather high. I began to feel rushed and that I
would not convert at all, and this was the reason in the first
place to come to
Cairo
. Hundreds convert all over the world everyday but for me, it
had to take place in an Islamic Arab country. Pure symbolism
but important symbolism nonetheless. Sensing my frustration,
Noha introduced me again to a business acquaintance, Sameh (my
dear brother). Sameh gave me a crash course in Wudu, how to
pray, how to behave, what to do and what to give up forever. On
October 2, 2001
, Sameh picked me up to go for a ride, and we ended up at Al-Azhar
famous Mosque, and there I made my declaration that there is no
God except Allah and Muhammad is His messenger. There was not a
dry eye in the place. It was quite an experience for all
involved.
I look
forward to the day when all those who helped me on my journey
to Islam and myself will celebrate together in paradise.
Last
but not least, I would like to than my mother for her
understanding of my decision to embrace Islam. Your faith in
God has been a source of inspiration for me throughout my
entire life. Your unwavering reverence for God is a shining
example for those who ask “where have all the faithful gone.”
They could look to you for guidance. Thank you for helping me
to be the man that I am and the man that I am striving to
become. May Allah show you mother the straight path of Islam as
an extension of what you are now and a further fulfillment of
the purposes and wisdom of your goodness.
Wa Allahu Akbar.