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Dating

The Noble Qur'an - Al-Ma'idah 5:5
...(Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste
women from the believers and chaste women
from those who were given the Scripture (Jews
and Christians) before your time, when you
have given their due Mahr
(bridal-money given by the husband to his
wife at the time of marriage), desiring
chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock)
not committing illegal sexual intercourse,
nor taking them as girlfriends. ...
"Shacking up" brings a curse taken to the
grave
Hadith - Sahih Muslim, Narrated AbudDarda'

AbudDarda' related from the Prophet of Allah
that
he came upon a (slave) woman who was in the
advanced stage of pregnancy at the door of a
tent. He
said:
Perhaps he (the man
accompanying her) intends to cohabit with
her. They said: Yes. Thereupon Allah's
Messenger
said:
I had decided to
curse him with such a curse as may go along
with him to his grave. How can he own him
(the child to be born) and that is not lawful
for him, and how can be take him as a servant
for that is not lawful for him?
Sex outside of marriage is prohibited
Hadith - Sahih Bukhari Volume 3, Book 48,
Number 817, Narrated Zaid bin Khalid
Allah's Apostle
ordered
that an unmarried man who committed illegal
sexual intercourse be scourged one hundred
lashes and sent into exile for one year.
A
Muslim cannot date and should always have the
intentions not be alone with a non-mahram; if
it is your intentions not to be alone with a
non-mahram, but circumstances beyond your
control mandate that you are (such as
entering a store, placing an order, calling a
plumber to fix an emergency leak), that is
different. It must be your intentions not to
be alone with a non-mahrahm person, though.
Islam
protects us from ourselves by segregating men
from women who are not directly related
(these people are known as mahrham) as
specific in the Qur'an. Instead of dating, a
Muslim and Muslimah meet in a pre-arranged
place (such as a room in the Masjid) with a
wali/witness/guardian/escort present in the
room. The couple will discuss a marriage
contract and ask questions of importance to
them regarding marriage. The best person to
seek for a spouse is the pious.
Being alone with a non-mahram
Hadith - Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi 3118, Narrated
Umar ibn al-Khattab
,
Tirmidhi transmitted it.
The Prophet
said,
"Whenever a man is
alone with a woman the Devil makes a third."
Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Book 25, Number 5403,
Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As
Some persons from Banu Hisham entered the
house of Asma' daughter of Umays when AbuBakr
also entered (and she was at that time his
wife). He (AbuBakr) saw it and disapproved of
it and he made a mention of that to Allah's
Messenger
and
said: I did not see but good only (in my
wife).
Thereupon Allah's Messenger
said:
Verily Allah has
made her immune from all this. Then
Allah's Messenger
stood
on the pulpit and said:
After this day no
man should enter the house of another person
in his absence, but only when he is
accompanied by one person or two persons.
Hadith - Sahih Bukhari Book 25, Number 5399,
Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah
Allah's Messenger
said:
Behold, no person
should spend the night with a married woman,
but only in case he is married to her or he
is her Mahram.
Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi 3119, Narrated Jabir ibn
Abdullah
The Prophet
said,
"Do not visit women whose husbands are away
from home, for the Devil circulates in you
like your blood." He was asked if this
applied to him also and said,
"To me also, but
Allah has helped me against him so that I may
be safe." [Tirmidhi transmitted it.]
Fatawa on Phone Usage
Question:
What is the ruling concerning a young man who
is not married speaking to a young lady who
is also not married over the telephone?
Response:
It is not allowed to speak with a non-related
woman with any speech that stirs desires,
such as in a flirtatious, coquettish or soft
manner. This is not allowed whether it is
over the telephone or otherwise. Allah has
said,
-
"Be not soft in speech, lest those in whose
heart is a disease should be moved with
desire" (al-Ahzab 32).
There is no harm in casual speech due to some
need if it is free from any sort of evil.
However, such speech must be restricted to
only what is necessary.
Shaikh ibn Jibreen
Note: "what is necessary" does not include
emotional desires or 'needs'. This is
referring to accomplishing things that are
necessary and cannot be avoided, i.e. there
is no appropriate person available to talk to
in order to accomplish the needed goal or
item. For instance, speaking with a doctor or
mechanic, store clerk to inquire as to a
price, etc., is that which is necessary.
Socializing is not considered that which is
necessary, even in the workplace.
Symptom: Feeling weak?
Prescription: Lower gaze, Do your prayers
The Noble Qur'an 24:30
Tell the believing men to lower their gaze
(from looking at forbidden things), and
protect their private parts (from illegal
sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them.
Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do.
Hadith - Sahih Al-Bukhari, Vol. 9, Hadith No.
409
Narrated Ibn Mas'uud r.a.: A man kissed a
woman and then came to Allah's Messenger
saaws and told him of that, so this Divine
Inspiration was revealed to the Prophet saaws:-
"And offer prayers
perfectly at the two ends of the day, and in
some hours of the night; [i.e. (five)
compulsory prayers]. (Verily, the good deeds
remove the evil deeds (small sins). That is a
reminder for the mindful." (Qur'an
11:114) The man said, "Is this instruction
for me only?" The Prophet saaws said,
"It is for all those
of my followers who encounter a similar
situation."
Avoid being alone with a non-mahram except
out of necessity and when unavoidable.
-
Respect yourself and your body; wait until
marriage for sex. More importantly, obey
your Lord; wait until marriage for sex.
-
Don't do like the kaffirs, who date. Do as
your Lord commands you. Trust that Allah
swt knows what is best for you.
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