Attitude and Behaviour towards
Fellow Sisters
Good character and behaviour
hold the Muslim community together. Without good manners and
social courtesy, disharmony and disunity would inevitably
result. Muslims are advised to emulate the exemplary character
of the Prophet (saw) and his companions, and mirror the best
behaviour to one another. Muslims are ambassadors for Islam and
should set high standars in their own character and conduct as
examples for others to follow.
The best among you are those who
have the best manners and character. (Masruq (ra), al-Bukhari,
Vol.8, p35, No.56b. Also Abu Hurairah (ra), Abu Dawud, Vol.III,
p1312, No.4665)
Although Islamic courtesy is
required of every Muslim, it is appalling to see how
ill-mannered and rude some Muslim women can be. For example:
some may forget to acknowledge or thank one another for their
small acts of kindness. The Prophet (saw) warned that if we are
ungrateful to others we are actually being ungrateful to Allah
(swt)! (Abu Hurairah (ra), AbuDawud Vol.III, p1346, No.4793
Also in Ahmad and at-Tirmidhi) Unfortunately, poor manners are
often ignored, overlooked or excused, and although it is good
to excuse the failings of a fellow Muslim, we should in fact,
remind one another to adopt good manners.
Good Manners
The slaves of the All-Merciful
are those who walk lightly on the earth and, who, when the
ignorant speak to them, say, 'Peace'. (surah al-Furqan 25:63)
&
The Prophet (saw) said: "If gentleness is
found in anything, it beautifies it and if it is withdrawn from
anything it damages it and makes it defective." (al-Miqdam ibn
Shuraih (ra), Ab Dawud, Vol.III, p1345, No.4790. Also A'ishah (ra),
Muslim, Vol.IVA, p185, No.2594) He (saw) also said: "He who is
deprived of gentleness is deprived of good." (Jarir (ra), Abu
Dawud, Vol.III, p1345, No.4791)
Good manners are essential in a
Muslim's character. They help to maintain harmonious relations
and are vital for pacifying tense or difficult situations and
thus prevent hostility and bad feeling. Good manners require
polite, modest speech, discretion and a certain amount of tact
and diplomacy. They also require us to exercise patience, be
kind and humble in our conduct and have consideration for
others. Good manners are important when giving effective da'wah
to argumentative non-Muslims or encouraging weak sisters to
practise. If our words are too harsh or insensitive, they will
either fall upon deaf ears or antagonise the listener. When we
talk about Islam, it is important to consider the attitude and
mentality of our audience. There is no point in talking about
issues that require high levels of iman when the audience has
not even grasped the most fundamental beliefs in Islam. We
should also refrain from frightening people with constant
reminders of punishment in the Fire. Instead, we should remind
them of Allah's mercy and blessings, and His rewards for doing
good deeds. We should talk about Islam with wisdom and in an
easy manner so other Muslim women will feel encouraged to
practise. (Commentary taken from Abu Dawud Vol.III p1350,
Footnote 4204)
Call to the way of your Lord
with wisdom and fair admonition, and argue with them in the
kindest way. Your Lord knows best who is misguided from His
way. And he knows best who are guided. (surah an-Nahl 16:125)
&
Gladden people and do not scare
them; make things easy and do not make them difficult. (Abu
Musa (ra), Abu Dawud, Vol. III, p1050, No.4817)
Good manners reflect iman and
character. They will also protect us from punishment in the
Fire and ensure a better position in the Garden (insha'Allah).
The rewards for good manners are as follows:
The heaviest thing which will be
placed in the balance of a slave who is mumin (believer) on the
Day of Judgment will be that [placed in the balance of one] who
has good manners' (Abu-Darda (ra), at-Tirmidhi. Also Riyad as-Salihin,
Vol.I,p253,No.626)
&
A mumin will attain the rank of
one who prays during the night and fasts during the day by his
good character. (A'ishah (ra), Abu Dawud. Also Riyad as-Salihin,
Vol.I, p254, No.629. Also Mutwatta al-Imam Malik, p377,
No.1612)
&
I gurantee a house in the
surroundings of the Garden for a man who avoids qurrelling even
if he is in the right, a house in the middle of the Garden for
a man who avoids lying even if he is joking, and a house in the
upper part of the Garden for a man who makes his character
good. (Abu Umamah (ra), Abu Dawud, Vol III, p1344, No.4782)