SMART ONE LINERS:-

BOY : May I hold your hand??
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Did you miss me while I was away??
BOY : Were you away??

GIRL : Who was that girl I saw you kissing last
night??
BOY : What time was it??

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest..
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple..

CAROL : Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was
so overwhelmed, I couldn't speak for an hour..
PETER : Yes Darling, that was the happiest hour of my
life...

1st MAN : I'm worried about my daughter. She keeps
being chased by the doctor.
2nd MAN : Has she tried an apple??

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever..
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning
kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the
cigarette out of his mouth.

Man : You remind me of the sea.
Woman : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
Man : NO, because you make me sick.

Wife : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear
and comes out of the other.
Husband : You tell a woman something: It goes in both
ears and comes out of the mouth.

Mary : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.
What do u think, Peter?
Peter : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

Peter : Mom, does God use our bathroom?
Mother : No, Peter. Why?
Peter : Because Daddy bangs on the door every morning
and yells, "Oh god,are you still there?"

Customer : How much is that tie?
Salesman : Forty dollars.
Customer : Why, I can buy a pair of shoes with that
much money.< BR>Salesman : But how would a pair of
shoes look around your neck.

Jimmy : Mom, can I have two pieces of cake?
Mom : Certainly. Take this piece and cut it in two.

Sam : I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I am
comfortably seated.
Lily : So what do you do?
Sam : I close my eyes.

Man : I'm new around here. Will you please direct me
to the bank?
Little boy : I will, but only if you pay me ten
dollars.
Man : Why should I pay you so much?
Little boy : Because bank directors are always highly
paid.

It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent
mood as he questioned the prisoner.
"What are you charged with?" he asked.
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the
defendant. "That's no offense," replied the judge.
"How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.