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Attributes of a Righteous Wife
"If a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month
(i.e. Ramadan), guards her private parts, and obeys her husband, it will be
said to her, 'Enter Paradise through whichever of the gates of Paradise you
wish.'" (Sahih Al-Bukhari)
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Devotion and Obedience to Allah (SWT)
such that she fulfills
His rights, such as the prayer, fasting, chastity covering herself,
withholding her gaze and so on.
Obedience to Her Husband
in that which does not involve disobedience to Allah (SWT) such that she
fulfills his rights completely. Allah's Messenger (SAW) said,
"If I were to order anyone to prostrate to other than Allah,
I would have ordered the woman to prostrate to her husband. By Him in whose
Hand is the soul of Muhammad, the woman will not fulfill the rights of her
Lord until she fulfills the rights of her husband; and even if he were to
request her for herself (i.e. to have intercourse with her) whilst she was
sitting upon a camel's saddle, she should not refuse him."
(Sahih, reported by Ibn Maajah and Ahmad from Abdullah ibn
Awfaa)
The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said,
"It is not right that any human being should prostrate to
another human being, and if it were right for a human being to prostrate to
another human being I would have ordered the woman to prostrate to her husband
due to the greatness of his rights upon her. By Him in whose Hand is my soul,
if from his foot the crown of his head there was a wound pouring forth with
pus, and she (his wife) came and licked that,
then she would (still) not have fulfilled his right." (Good,
reported by Ahmad and others)
The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said,
"If the woman knew the right of the husband, she would not
sit when his morning and evening meals were presented until he finished."
(Reported by al-Bazzar and others)
That She Guards and Preserves Herself and Her Honor, in the
Absence of Her Husband,
from the hand of anyone
wishing to touch her, the eye of anyone wishing to look upon her, and the ear
of anyone wishing to listen to her.
Likewise that she preserves her husband's children, home and
wealth. Allah (SWT) says:
"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because
Allah has made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to
support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly
obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence
what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's
property, etc.)…" (An-Nisa' 4:34)
As-Sa'dee said, "They are obedient to Allah (SWT), they are
obedient to their husbands even when the husbands are absent and she guards
herself and her husband's property."
The Prophet (SAW) said,
"If a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month
(i.e. Ramadan), guards her private parts, and obeys her husband, it will be
said to her, 'Enter Paradise through whichever of the gates of Paradise you
wish.'" (Sahih Al-Bukhari)
Serving Her Husband.
First of all by carrying
out what is required in his house, such as bringing up and educating the
children, preparing the meals and the beds and so on.
From Husayn ibn Mihsan who said that my paternal aunt said,
"I came to Allah's Messenger (SAW) for some need, so he
asked, 'You there! Are you married?' I replied, 'Yes.' He then asked, 'How are
you towards your husband?' She responded, 'I do not fall short in his service
except with regard to what I am unable to do.' He said, 'Then look to your
standing with him, for indeed he is your Paradise and your Fire.'" (Sahih,
reported by al-Haadim and others)
Here is an example of how Asma bint Abu Bakr (RA), served her
husband. She said,
"Az-Zubayr married me and he did not have any property or
slaves or anything upon the earth except for a camel which drew water from the
well and his horse. So I used to feed his horse, draw the water, stitch his
water bucket, and prepare the dough, but I was not proficient in baking bread
- so ladies from the Ansar who were my neighbors and were honorable used to
bake the bread for me. I also used to carry the date-stones upon my head, from
the land given to az-Zubayr by Allah's Messenger (SAW) - and it was about two
miles away. One day when I was coming with the date-stones on my head, I met
Allah's Messenger (SAW) and a group of the Ansar were with him. So he called
me and said, 'Ikh, ikh (a word said to make the camel kneel down.).' in order
to carry me behind him upon the camel. But I felt shy to proceed along with
the men, and I thought of az-Zubayr and his sense of jealousy, and he was one
of the most jealous of the people. So Allah's Messenger (SAW) saw my shyness
and so passed on. So I came to az-Zubayr and said, 'Allah's Messenger (SAW)
met me while I was carrying the date-stones upon my head and with him were a
group of his Companions. He caused his riding camel to kneel, but I felt shy
and remembered your sense of jealousy.' So he said, 'By Allah (SWT) your
having to carry the date-stones is harder upon me than that you should ride
along with him.'" She said, "Then later on Abu Bakr sent me a servant to look
after the horse, so it was if he had set me free." (Reported by Al-Bukhari and
Muslim)
The scholars differ with regard to the ruling about a woman
serving her husband. Shaykhul-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah said,
"The scholars
differed about whether she has to serve her husband with regard to the like of
household bedding, preparing food and drinks, baking the bread, grinding the
corn, and providing food for his slaves and cattle - such as providing fodder
for his riding beast and so on."
Some of them say: It is not obligatory for her to serve him -
and this is a weak saying, like the weakness of the saying that it is not
obligatory upon her to live together with him and have intercourse with him!
However what is correct is that it is obligatory to serve him, since the
husband is her master according to the Book of Allah (SWT), and she is a
captive with him according to the Sunnah of the Prophet (SAW), and the captive
and the slave have to serve - and this is something known. Allah (SWT) says:
"…Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to
Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allah
orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.)…"
(An-Nisa' 4:34)
The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said in the sermon of the
Farewell Pilgrimage:
"…treat your women well, for they are captives with you." (Hasan
Sahih, reported by at-Tirmidhee)
This Ayat shows that it is obligatory upon her to serve her
husband unrestrictedly, including: serving him, traveling along with him,
making herself available to him, and so on - just as it is obligatory to obey
the parents, since the obedience due from her to the parents transfers to the
husband.
Keeping the Husband's Secrets.
Particularly what
occurs between him and her in private - with regard to sexual matters and the
private affairs within the marriage. Disclosing the husbands secrets will hurt
him and anger him and this contradicts obedience to him and seeking to please
him. Furthermore preserving his secrets is one of the duties of the righteous
and obedient woman, as described in the Saying of Allah (SWT),
"…Guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to
guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.)…" (An-Nisa' 4:34)
Part of their guarding what they are to guard in the absence
of their husbands is that they should not broadcast their secrets.
From Asma bint Yazeed (RA), who said that she was in the
company of Allah's Messenger (SAW) and men and women were sitting, and he
(SAW) said,
"Perhaps a man mentions that which he did with his wife, and
perhaps a woman informs of what she does with her husband?!" So the people
were silent, so I said, "Yes, by Allah (SWT), O Messenger of Allah (SAW)! The
women certainly do that, and the men certainly do that." He (SAW) said, "Then
do not do so, since that is just like a male devil meeting a female devil upon
the way, and he has intercourse with
her while the people are watching." (Reported by Ahmad and
there are witnessing narration's which raise it to the level of being Sahih or
Hasan at the very least)
She Should Appear Before the Husband in the Best Appearance,
such that if he
looks at her it pleases him.
Abu Hurairah (RA), narrates the Messenger Of Allah (SAW) was
asked,
"Which of the women is the best?" He replied, "The one who
gives him (the husband) pleasure when he looks (at her outer beauty, or the
inner beauty of her good character and how she devotes herself to obedience to
Allah and taqwa); obeys him when he orders; and does not go against his wishes
with regard to herself or her wealth by doing that which he dislikes." (Sahih
Muslim, reported by an-Nasaa'ee, al-Haakim and Ahmad)
She Should Not Spend Any of His Wealth or Her Wealth Except
With His Permission
From Abdullah ibn 'Amr ibn al-'Aas (RA) who said that Allah's
Messenger (SAW) said,
"It is not permissible for a woman to give a gift
except with the permission of her husband." (Hasan, reported
by Abu Dawud an-Nasaa'ee and Ahmad)
Al-Albani (ra) said, "However it is not becoming for the
husband - if he is a sincere Muslim - that he should use this ruling to play
the tyrant with his wife and to prevent her from utilizing her wealth in a
manner which will not harm either of them. Indeed this right is very similar
to the right of the girls guardian - who is such that she cannot get herself
married except with his permission. But if he unjustly prevents her, then the
matter is raised to the Islamic judge for justice to be attained. Likewise is
the ruling with regard to a woman's wealth if her husband oppresses her and
prevents her from spending her wealth in a lawful and prescribed manner - then
the judge will also bring about justice for her. So there is no problem with
the ruling itself, rather the problem is in how it is misused."
She Should Not Permit Anyone to Enter Her Husband's House
Except With His Permission
From Abu Hurairah (RA), who said that the Messenger of Allah
(SAW) said,
"It is not permissible for a woman to fast when her husband
is present except with his permission; nor may she permit anyone to enter his
house except with his permission; and whatever she spends in charity without
his order - then half of the reward is for him." (Reported by Al-Bukhari)
She Should Not Ask Her Husband For Divorce Without a Reason
Necessitating That
From Thawbaan (RA), who said that the Messenger of Allah (SAW)
said,
"Whichever woman asks her husband for divorce without a
strong reason - then the fragrance of Paradise will be forbidden for her." (Sahih
Muslim, reported by Abu Dawud, at-Tirmidhee and others)
Avoidance of Cursing
Abu Sa'eed al-Khudree (RA) said,
"The Messenger
of Allah (SAW) went out to the prayer-ground for the (prayer of) Adhaa or Fitr,
and he passed by the women and said,
'O women! Give in charity, for I have been shown that you
shall be the majority of the people in the Fire.' So they asked, 'Why is that,
O Messenger of Allah (SAW)!' He replied, 'You curse frequently and are
ungrateful to your husbands.'" (Reported by Al-Bukhari)
Being Thankful to the Husband
for the good he does and for his good treatment to his wife.
This is accomplished by good words, and by her obedience to
him in what is good, and by not forgetting his good treatment and avoiding
denying this, since that is one of the reasons which brings about the entry
into the Fire.
From Ibn Abbass (RA), who said that the Prophet (SAW) said,
"I was shown the Fire and found that the majority of its
inhabitants were women, due to ingratitude. It was said: "Is it that they
disbelieve in Allah?" He said: They are ungrateful to their husbands and deny
the good they do. If you were to treat one of them well always, and she then
saw something (displeasing) from you she would say: 'I have never seen any
good from you.'" (Reported by Al-Bukhari)
Allah's Messenger (SAW) said,
"Allah will not look at a woman who is not thankful to her
husband and she cannot do without him."
She Should Not Remove Her Clothes Outside Her Husband's House
Allah's Messenger (SAW) said,
"Whichever woman removes her clothes in other than her
house, then Allah (SWT), will tear down His cover from her." (Sahih-Jami,
reported by al-Haakim and others)
Al-Manawee said,
"'Allah (SWT)
will tear down His cover from her' since because she has failed to take care
of what she has been commanded with regard to covering herself from strangers,
then this is the recompense she receives, the recompense being of the type of
the action. What is apparent is that removal of her clothing means uncovering
herself to strange males, for the purpose of sexual intercourse or that which
leads to it. As opposed to the case if she were to remove her clothes amongst
women, whilst covering her private parts, since there is no reason for that to
enter into this warning."
Striving to Please the Husband by Every Possible Means
The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said,
"Your women from the people of Paradise are the beloved and
fertile, the one who is an asset to her husband, who if her husband becomes
angry - comes and places her hand in the hand of her husband and says, 'I will
not taste sleep until you are pleased (with me).'"
In al-Kabaa'ir of adh-Dhahabee,
"What is
obligatory upon the woman is that she seeks the pleasure of her husband, and
avoids angering him, and does not refuse him whenever he wants her. The woman
must also know that she is like a slave to her husband, so she should not do
anything affecting herself or her husbands wealth except with his permission.
She should give precedence to his rights over her rights, and the rights of
his relatives over the rights of her relatives, and she should keep herself
clean and be ready for him to enjoy her. She should not boast at his expense
of her beauty, nor rebuke him for any ugliness found in him. The woman must
also be always modest and reserved in the presence of her husband, lower her
eyes in front of him, obey his commands, remain silent when he speaks, keep
far away form everything which angers him, avoid treachery when he is absent,
with regard to his bed, his wealth and his house. She should ensure that her
aroma is pleasant, be accustomed to using musk and perfume and cleaning her
mouth with miswaak. She should be constant in adorning herself in his presence
and not when he is absent. She should treat his family and relatives
honorably, and consider something small from him as something great."
Information From The Righteous Wife
By Muhammad Shoomaan
Translated by Aboo Talhah Daawood ibn Ronald Burbank
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