In Islam, sexuality is considered part of our identity as human beings. In His
creation of humankind, God distinguished us from other animals by giving us
reason and will such that we can control behavior that, in other species, is
governed solely by instinct. So, although sexual relations ultimately can
result in the reproduction and survival of the human race, an instinctual
concept, our capacity for self-control allows us to regulate this behavior.
Also, the mere fact that human beings are the only creatures who engage in
sexual relations once they are beyond the physical capacity for reproduction,
sets us apart from all other species which engage in sex for the sole purpose
of reproduction.
Marraige
For Muslims, based on an understanding of Qur'an and hadith, sexual
relations are confined to marriage between a wife and husband. Within this
context, the role of a healthy sexual relationship is extremely important.
Having and raising children are encouraged among Muslims. Once a child is
born, the parents are expected to care for, nurture and prepare the child for
adulthood, with a goal of imparting Islam so that the individual is equipped
with knowledge and willingness to accept and practice Islam and thus become a
productive member of society.
Beyond childbearing, sexual relations assume a prominent role in the overall
well-being of the marriage. In reading hadith, one is impressed with the
Prophet's ability to discuss all issues including those dealing with human
sexuality. The topics range from questions about menstruation to orgasm. He
apparently was not embarrassed by such inquiries, but strove to adequately
guide and inform the Muslims who asked. Both Qur'an and hadith allude to the
nature of sexual relations as a means of attaining mutual satisfaction,
closeness and compassion between a wife and husband. "Permitted to you on the
night of the Fasts is the approach to your wives. They are your garments and
you are their garments." (2:187) Also, Muslims are advised to avoid sexual
intercourse during menses so as not to cause discomfort to the woman (2:222).
The goal of marriage is to create tenderness between two individuals and
satisfy the very basic human need for companionship. "And among His signs is
this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell
in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between you; in this
are signs for those who think." (30:21)
The hadith which address this issue are numerous. The Prophet himself, while
not divulging all aspects of his own sexual life, was known for his nature as
a loving husband who was sensitive and physically demonstrative. In several
hadith, he speaks about the importance of foreplay and speaking in loving
terms during sexual relations. Again, the concept of mutual satisfaction is
elucidated in a hadith which advises husbands to engage in acts that enable a
woman to achieve orgasm first. (see Ihya ulum-id-din (Revival of
Religious Learning) by Imam Ghazzali, chapter on Marriage). Sexual
dissatisfaction is considered legitimate grounds for divorce on the part of
either wife or husband.