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Almost but not quite 'koyla' jokes!
TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
==( ;-) =^============ /
TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
==( ;-) =^============ /
TEACHER: George can you count up to 5?
George counts up to 5 slowly using his Fingers.
TEACHER: Good, now can you count any higher?
George climbs up on his chair and counts five
again using his fingers.
==( ;-) =^============ /
TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
JOHN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
==( ;-) =^============ /
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
==( ;-) =^============ /
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!
==( ;-) =^============ /
TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have
today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!
==( ;-) =^============ /
TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
==( ;-) =^============ /
SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
==( ;-) =^============ /
TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.
==( ;-) =^============ /
TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
JOSE: Don't bite any.
==( ;-) =^============ /
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
==( ;-) =^============ /
MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you?
JUNIOR: You said it was my lunch money.
==( ;-) =^============ /
TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and
eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!
==( ;-) =^============ /
Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE? "
Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same
day, same ime."
==( ;-) =^============ /
Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his
father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you
know why his father didn't punish him?"
Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
==( ;-) =^============ /
Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
==( ;-) =^============ /
Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are
wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another
pair of the same at home.
==( ;-) =^============ /
Teacher: Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing
football and the game went into extra time.
==( ;-) =^============ /
At a church school gathering, one little old lady approached a
cute
5-year-old girl and asked her where she got her good looks.
"I musta got 'em from my Daddy," said the little
girl, "'cause Mommy's still got hers."
==( ;-) =^============ /
A kid with a few packages in his arms asked a
passer-by, "Will you open the gate for me?"
The passer-by said, "Of course, sonny."
The kid replied, "Thanks. The gate was just painted
and I didn't want to get my hands messy."
==( ;-) =^============ /
Ed: What time is it when Dracula goes to the dentist?
John: I don't know.
Ed: Tooth hurty (2:30)
==( ;-) =^============ /
Ed: My uncle and I went on a safari to Africa last year.
John: Oh, yeah? How did it go?
Ed: We spotted a leopard.
John: Don't be silly. They're born that way!
==( ;-) =^============ /
My father is so old that when he was in school,
History was called current affairs.
==( ;-) =^============ /
Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey
and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Student: Brotherly love.
==( ;-) =^============ /
Teacher: Now,Jerry, tell me frankly do you say prayers before
eating?
Jerry : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
==( ;-) =^============ /
Dad: Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son: Just a radio with a sports car around it.
==( ;-) =^============ /
Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog"is
exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
==( ;-) =^============ /
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible
to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
==( ;-( =^============ /
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher.
==( ;-) =^============ /
Tarun : How should I convey the news to my
father that I've failed?
Dinesh : You just send a telegram: Result
declared, past year's performance repeated.
==( ;-) =^============ /
Teacher : "Hello boys, Remember !!! Nothing is impossible."
One of the 20 Students: "Ok Sir, You please take out all the
toothpaste and put back it into a tube again."
==( ;-) =^============ /
Man : How old is your father ?
Boy : As old as me
Man : How can that be ?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born !
==( ;-) =^============ /
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