Tips for Beginning to Wear Hijab
By A Revert Muslim Sister who dorns Hijab
One of the most difficult decisions many Muslim sisters face
is the decision to start wearing hijab. This is certainly
true for reverts, but may also be true for sisters whose
families or even whose cultures are not particularly
observant. As a revert myself, I have been through the whole
thing. I would like to offer some advice that I hope
inshallah will be helpful to sisters who are considering
wearing hijab but find that something is holding them back.
The first step is to learn about hijab. There is so much
information out there. Many Muslim sisters who will assist
you in this regard.
Deciding to wear Hijab
This is where the difficulties usually come in. For many
sisters, it truly is a jihad. I remember very vividly how
scared I was the first day I put on the headscarf and went
out into public. As long as you are just wearing the modest
clothes, nobody has to know that you are a Muslim. Once you
complete your hijab with the headscarf, you are suddenly
announcing to everyone who sees you that "I am a Muslim".
Here is some advice based on my own experiences.
Wear it for the sake of Allah SWT
Various statements are made about why you should wear hijab,
such as for modesty or for protection, but the real
reason that we wear hijab is that Allah SWT has commanded it.
Whenever anyone asks you, why do you dress like that, that's
the only answer you need to give them.
Allah SWT is the source of everything we have, our existence,
our life, our capability, even our goodness. If He ever
stopped sustaining us, we would vanish in that instant. If He
ever took away what he gives us, we would never have even a
speck of it. If we worked for millions of years, we could
never repay Him for all that He has given us. And yet He does
give it to us, and all He asks in return is that we do our
best to obey what He has commanded us. Surely wearing hijab
is a very small thing that you can do for Him compared to
what He does for you!
Wear it for the hope of Jannah
Allah SWT makes tests for us in this world. He makes things
difficult for us. He wants to see if we will remember Him, if
we will have faith in Him, and if we will trust in Him. These
qualities are what is meant by "sabr".
Allah SWT does not lose the work of anyone, ever (see Surah
Ali Imran ayah 195). Even if it seems like nobody is paying
attention to you or notices or appreciates good things that
you do, Allah SWT has seen them, and He will not forget them.
Even when it seems like the whole world is against you, Allah
SWT is always there for you when you turn to Him. Remember
this.
Allah SWT always wants the best for us and in His wisdom He
knows why each thing that happens to us is in fact best for
us. When it seems like everything is going wrong and life is
just one disaster after another, it is easy to forget this
and to become bitter and skeptical. Yet we must remember
always to have faith that Allah SWT knows best why He has
willed this for us, and we must always ask Him only "Make me
pleased with what You have willed for me".
This world we live in, although it seems at times to be the
only real thing, is actually fleeting compared to the
Hereafter, which is better and more abiding. The trials of
this world will seem as fleeting as a nightmare when seen
from the Hereafter, and the pleasures of this world will also
seem as fleeting as a dream when seen from the Hereafter.
It's our happiness in the Hereafter that we should be most
worried about attaining, because it is what will last
forever; and it's our suffering in the Hereafter that we
should be most worried about avoiding, because it also will
last forever.
Allah SWT has promised Jannah to those who remain steadfast
in their faith in Him and who trust in Him. The more
difficult it is for you to have sabr, the greater the reward
for it. So what will it be? Ease in this world, and perhaps
the eternal sufferings in Hell? Or difficulty in this world,
and inshallah the eternal bliss of Jannah? Let's face it, the
old cliches are true: there's no such thing as a free lunch
and you can almost never have your cake and eat it too. We've
all got to face difficulties some time. Better by far that
they be in the world than in the Hereafter.
So that's what you should set your mind to. Yes, it's
difficult to wear hijab. You may be rejected by your family
or your friends, you may face harassment and persecution or
be fired from your job. These are very scary thoughts.
But if you have sabr and keep trusting in Allah SWT, I swear
to you sister, this is the path to Jannah, and when you look
back on the Day of Qiyamah you will know that it was worth it
and have no regrets.
Wear it today and trust in Allah SWT for tomorrow
What do I mean by that? What I mean is that you should take
it one day at a time, or even one outing at a time. Sometimes
the future seems to stretch on forever and ever and you don't
think you can make it that long. You want to give up before
you even begin.
So sometimes the best thing to do is to keep you mind focused
on what is immediately at hand. Allah SWT will take care of
the future. If you have to go out to the market, then
concentrate on being able to wear hijab just for this
activity and on getting through it. If you do get through it
and nothing bad happened, then give thanks to Allah SWT for
making it easy for you, and turn your mind to your next
outing.
Or if you have to go out to school or work, then concentrate
on being able to wear hijab just for this one day and on
getting through it. And give thanks to Allah SWT when you
have made it, and turn your mind to the next day.
Eventually the outings will turn into days and the days into
weeks, and the weeks into months. One day you will realize
that you have been wearing hijab for quite a long time and it
isn't really as bad as you feared, and Allah SWT helped you
get through it. Don't be ashamed. Sometimes it is like this.
The most important thing is to have sabr and keep your trust
in Allah SWT always.
Wear it and spite the shaytan
My dear sister, the worries and fears in your mind are the
whisperings of the shaytan. He wants to talk you out of
obeying Allah SWT.
It is very easy to keep going around in circles in your mind
and to dwell on all the things that could go wrong. I know
that I myself have a tendency to do this, I put it off and I
dither and I wait for "the perfect time". If I let myself, I
would never do anything at all!
So the thing you have to remember is that you do not need to
be perfect in iman to wear hijab. If perfection were a
qualification, where is the sister who could wear it??
You must also not fall into the trap of thinking that you
should wait until all your worries and fears have
disappeared. They never will! Trust me on this, sister.
True courage is going ahead to do what's right even though
you are still nervous and scared. So don't listen to the
shaytan. Ignore the worries and fears he whispers into your
mind. Tell him that you will not let him keep you from
obeying Allah SWT and you will not let him rule your life.
Make the decision to wear it
Once you have come to know in your heart that you must
wear hijab, then you have to set a day and
JUST DO IT !!
This is the only way. Set a day and when that day comes, you
have to do it. Don't back down. Don't give up. Do it.
Offer salat al-istikhara. Make du'a. Make lots of du'a. Do
not stop making du'a. Ask Allah SWT to give you strength. Ask
Him to make it easy for you. Ask Him to help you. He will, I
swear it to you. He is always there for you when you
turn to Him. Remember how much He has given you, how
everything that you have, even your very existence, is due to
Him. Remember that He deserves this from you. Remember the
promise of Jannah. Remember that remaining patient and
faithful through difficulty now may lead to Jannah, inshallah.
Even if bad things happen, keep these thoughts in your mind.
Don't worry about tomorrow. Just concentrate on getting
through today, and leave tomorrow to Allah SWT until it gets
here.
That's how you do it.
Final Words of Encouragement
I have been wearing hijab since September 1999. I do not
regret it. I have never for one instant regretted it. I do
not regret it even one iota. Inshallah, you will discover
that you feel the same. Even within a few months I came to
feel that I would not be properly dressed if I went out not
wearing hijab. This is when you know that you have made it!
Never feel that you are alone, or that you are the only one
who is scared and worried and nervous. Just about every other
sister who has travelled down this road has gone through the
same things. I know I have. Your sisters are here for you. We
have been where you are. We are encouraging you and cheering
you on. We know what it takes because we had to find that in
ourselves too. We are praying for your success just as we
prayed for our own.
Come and join us.
Allah does not burden a soul except what it can bear. For it
is what it has earned, and upon it is what it has made due. "Our
Lord and Sustainer, do not condemn us if we forget or do
wrong. Our Lord and Sustainer, do not put a burden on us like
the burden You put on those who were before us. Our Lord and
Sustainer, do not put a burden on us that we cannot endure.
And blot out (our sins) and forgive us, and be gentle to us.
You are our Protector. So help us against the rejectors."
(Surah al-Baqarat ayah 286)
In
the Name of Allah, Most
Gracious, Most Merciful