Dear Brothers & Sisters

I pray  that you are all well and in strength of eemaan upon this Noble Da'wah.   Have you heard the saying: "Tell me who your best friends are, and I will tell you who you are?". Or the saying: "If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl", and "if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights?". These sayings indicate that the types of friends you have, often indicate the type of person you are. The Prophet Sall Allahu alaihi wa sallam adviced: "A person molds his way of life (his deen) according to his friends. So you should be careful about who you make your friend!" (reported by Ahmad) A saying, I used to hear my late grandmother say (which she constantly drummed into me) was: ~ "A mirror reflects a person's face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses. The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate for the good and the bad, therefore, always remember that keeping good company is essential" ~:  "And keep thy soul (yourself) content with those who call on their Lord morning and evening, seeking His Face (countenance); and let not thine eyes pass beyond them,  seeking the pomp and glitter of this Life;  nor obey any whose heart We have permitted to neglect the remembrance of Us, one who follows his own desires, and whose case has gone beyond all bounds." Surah Al Kahf 18: 28. Think about it; almost all of our sorrows spring out of the relationships with the wrong people. Instead, "Keep out of the suction caused by those who drift backwards" (E.K.Piper). The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others it increases your mediocrity. A proverb confirms, "If you find yourself taking two steps forward and one step backwards, invariably it's because you have mixed associations in your life." If a loafer isn't a nuisance to you, it's a sign that you are somewhat of a loafer yourself. I have discovered that an important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people. A true friend is one who is there to care. They remain your friend even if you don't deserve to have a friend. They will see you through when others think you're through. If you were to list your greatest benefits, resources or strengths, you would find that money is one of the least important ones while some of your greatest resources are the people you know. A true friend sees beyond you to what you can be. Invest in good relationships. The way to make a true friend is to be one. Your wealth is where your friends are. Consider what Francesco Guicciardini said: "Since there is nothing so well worth having as friends, never lose a chance to make the right ones." As you grow, your associates will change. Some of your friends will not want you to go on.  They will want you to stay where they are. Friends that don't help you climb, will want you to crawl. Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream. Those that don't increase you will eventually decrease you. Consider this: never receive counsel from unproductive people. Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how. Not everyone has a right to speak into your life.  You are certain to get the worst of the bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person. Don't follow anyone who's not going anywhere. With some people you spend an evening: with others you invest it. Be careful where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of life. Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships. Prophet's Advice: 'He Who Helps You Remember'   The Prophet (peace be upon him) has given similar advice in choosing companions and forming friendships. He was asked, "What person can be the best friend?" "He who helps you remember God, and he who reminds you when you forget Him," he replied. Then the Prophet was asked, "And which friend is the worst?" "He who does not help you when you remember God and does not remind you of God when you forget," he replied. The Prophet was further asked, "Who is the best among people?" He replied, "He who when you look at him, you remember God" (because of his noble character, devotion to God, and concern for others).   These are the principles that should guide our friendships. Is this the criteria we use in our friendships today? Indeed, there is no blessing greater than a friend who helps us succeed in this life and reminds us about the real purpose in this life, only if we realized before it's too late! It can be very difficult to live up to these principles when we have people of the same age urging us on to be "part of the posse", and to be involved in forbidden, illegal, immoral, or haraam fun for "the pomp and glitter of this life". Difference Between 'Friendship' & 'Acquaintance'   It should be pointed out that there is difference between a "friend" (someone with whom you can share your values, secrets, and trust), and "acquaintence" (someone to whom you should be nice and caring, but don't neccesarily share your values and principles with). Therefore, such Qur'anic verses should not be used to urge people to isolate themselves from society and hate the people around them who do not necessarily share the same beliefs and values they do.   In fact, we know from the life of the Prophet Muhammad (sall Allahu 'alayhi wa sallam) that this was never the case. The authentic biographies of the Prophet are replete with incidences and sayings encouraging Muslims to be kind, generous, and loving towards their neighbors and acquaintances, regardless of their ethnic, religious, or social background. Very often non-Muslim bedouins, neighbors, or travellers would benefit from the generosity and extraordinary concern of the Prophet towards them.