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There
is no sure fire, 100% guaranteed way to know if someone likes
you as
more than a friend...and anyone who tells you otherwise is
lying.
There are, however, certain things you can look for that will
give
you a pretty good idea if your friend or aquaintence is
interested in being more than friends.
Test
his/her Personal Space
Everyone has something called "personal space". It is like a bubble
around
us that we don't like people trespassing into. If someone gets
too
close, we instinctively move away, and if they get too close
again
we move away again. When we are attracted to someone that
bubble
dissapears. They can brush their thigh against ours while
sitting
close and we won't jerk our leg away, they can stand close
and we
won't step to the side, they can sit beside us on a long couch
while
watching a movie and we don't ask them to move over. We enjoy
being
close to those who we are attracted to and sometimes make
excuses
to do so.
So, the
first step in gauging whether your friend is attracted to you
is to
get past their "personal space" and monitor their reaction. If
they
move away, heed it as a warning and don't try it again that day.
Our
personal space is a personal thing and many of us become annoyed
if
someone repeatedly invades it against our will. You can try this
several
times (over several days) and if he or she continues to move
away as
if by reflex, chances are, they are not attracted to you.
This is
not to stop you from trying the next test another time.
Observe
Their Body Language
Is your
friend exhibiting flirtaseous behaviour with you? Do they
find
excuses to touch you, stand close, compliment you repeatedly on
your
appearance? Do their pupils dialate when they see you? It has
been
found scientifically that our pupils dialate when we are looking
at
someone we are attracted to. Although this is a good method, it is
probably the most unreliable of all that are listed. This is because
some
people are natural flirts, they flirt with everyone, including
their
friends. Also, some people are very affectionate with their
friends
and that could be miscontrued as flirting.
Touch
his/her Hand
Another
way to gauge if someone is attracted to you is to
deliberately touch, or almost touch their hand. Try passing him or
her
something and hold it in a way that makes it difficult for them
to take
it without your hands touching. When they reach to take it,
observe
whether or not they expend any effort to touch the smallest
surface
area of your hand as possible. If they avoid touching your
hand
then it could mean that they want to avoid all physical contact
with
you. Take it as a good sign if they linger by your hand when
they
touch you. Better yet, are their hands sweaty?
You could also try placing your hand
very near your friend's hand and
watch to see if they move theirs
away. If they are standing with a
hand rested on a railing, stand next
to them and rest your hand right
beside theirs. If they are trying to
program their VCR or CD player,
help them and let your hand graze by
theirs while you both play with
the buttons. It would be a bad sign
if they retracted their hand
completely.
Watch for Changing or Strange
Behaviour
Does your friend seem unusually
awkward or nervous around you? Are
their hands shaky or sweaty? Do they
avoid talking about other
guys/girls, and seem very
uninterested in hearing you talk about
other guys/girls that you are
interested in?
Are they suddenly complimenting you
more than usual? Are they only
letting their best side show? Is she
spending more time getting ready
than usual? Is he wearing his nicest
clothes and cologne...things
you've only see him do when going on
a date with other women?
Listen to what they Say
It sounds like a no brainer, but I am
telling you anyway because when
we like someone we tend to ignore any
signs that they don't like us
and really play up any signs that
they do. If your friend is saying
things similar to those below then
they may have picked up on your
interest and are subtly hinting back
that they aren't interested in
taking the friendship further.
"It is so nice to have a male/female
friend who is just a friend."
"I really like this guy/girl from
school, we went to a movie last
night and I think he/she likes me
too...."
"There is a new guy/girl at school
who I am really interested in. Can
you give me some advice on striking
up a conversation?"
"I'm so glad we can just be friends
without getting physically
involved, I see so many friendships
ruined because they crossed that
boundary."
"I have a friend who I'de like to set
you up with, you guys would get
along so well!"
"Have you ever had a friend tell you
that they like you?...I did
once, it was awful, the friendship
was never the same after that..."
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