HOW THE ISLAMIC MARRIAGES SHOULD BE PERFORMED

1. The many customs as regards engagement are contrary to the Sunnah. In fact, many are against the Shariah and are regarded sins. A verbal proposal and answer is sufficient.

2. To unnecessarily delay Nikah of both the boy and the girl after having reached the age of marriage is incorrect.

3. There is nothing wrong in inviting one's close associates for the occasion of Nikah. However, no special pains should be taken in gathering the people from far off places.

4. It is appropriate that the bridegroom be a few years older than the bride.

5. If the father of the girl is an Aalim or pious and capable of performing Nikah, then he should himself solemnise the marriage.

6. It is better to give the Mahr Faatimi and one should endeavour to do so. But if one does not have the means then there is nothing wrong in giving less.

7. It is totally un-Islamic for those, who do not possess the means, to incur debts in order to have grandiose weddings.

8. It is fallacy to think that one's respect will be lost if one does not hold an extravagant wedding and invite many people. What is our respect compared to that of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam)?

9. The present day practice of the intermingling of sexes is an act of sin and totally against Shariah.

10. There is nothing such as engagement parties and Medhi parties in Islam.

11. Great care must be taken as regards to Salaat on occasions of marriage by all - the bride, the bridegroom and all the participants.

12. It is un-Islamic to display the bride on stage.

13. The unnecessary expenses incurred by the bride's family in holding a feast has no basis in Shariah.

14. For the engaged couple to meet at a public gathering where the boy holds the girl's hand and slips a ring on her finger is a violation of the Qur'anic law of Hijaab.

15. It is un-Islamic for the engaged couple to meet each other and also go out together.

16. There should be least expense from bride side on the marriage.

17. It is Sunnat for the bridegroom's family to make Walimah.

Note: In Walimah, whatever is easily available should be fed to the people and care should be taken that the is no extravagance, show and that no debts are incurred in the process.

18. To delay Nikah after the engagement is un-Islamic.

SOME UN-ISLAMIC CUSTOMS

In aping Western methods sheepishly, Muslims have adopted many customs which are un-Islamic and frowned upon. Some examples are:

* Displaying the bride on stage;

* Custom of applying Hina (Mehdi), only bride can apply hina on her hands if she wish to do so.

* Inviting guests for the wedding from far off places;

* Receiving guests in the hall;

* The bride's people incurring unnecessary expenses by holding a feast which has no basis in Shariah. We should remember that Walimah is the feast arranged by the bridegroom after the marriage is consummated.

* It is contrary to Sunnah (and the practice of some non-Muslim tribes in India) to wish, hope for or demand presents and gifts for the bridegroom, from the bride's people. We should always remember that our Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) did not give Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu) anything except Dua.

* It is not allowed to exchange the rings on wedding or any other occassion. Infact it is haram for bridegrooms to wear ring if it is made of Gold.