I am a Palestinian woman from the Gaza Strip. My parents, like the rest of Palestinians, were forced to leave their home and properties in 1948. Physical force, psychological intimidation, terror and death threats accompanied the expulsion or the exodus of Palestinian refugees from their homeland in 1948. As though they were denying the fact of their exile, Palestinian refugees guarded the keys of their old houses and the deeds of their lands, keeping all documents that attested to their connection with lost homes. They held onto these documents as if they might need them at any moment. Such documents proved, at least, that the owners were not merely derelict nomads, but people with status and rights, the owners of houses and property. When my grandmother died in 1969, she still had the key of her house to Beir El Sabaa, which is now known as Beir Shiva. Now, my father keeps this key with other documents of family properties, still dreaming of the day he will return.

The 1948 catastrophe has been a central focus of fear and insecurity, deeply affecting the innermost layers of the Palestinian psyche. The shock of being uprooted and living in exile has resulted in widespread feelings of helplessness and dependency. In 1967, when I was only twelve years old, the Israelis occupied the Gaza Strip. During the raids we spent days and days inside a shelter, tens of people unable to move. I remember the fear on men's faces, frightened that the Israelis would act as they did in 1948 and 1956, when they tried to occupy Gaza before.

They had killed thousands of innocent people, especially from the Khan Younis area. Men were ordered to stand up facing the walls, and they were all shot.

The lightning speed of Arab defeat in 1967 and the resulting occupation of the West Bank and the Gaza Strip shocked the Arab masses, but particularly Palestinians. Their dream of return, liberation, Arab unity, and victory were suddenly shattered, while their underlying feelings of helplessness, victimization, and paranoia were deepened. Unprepared and unprotected, the Palestinians found themselves face-to-face with an old enemy, who was now armed with a sophisticated, modern arsenal.

Clinically, the forty years during which the Palestinian community has been terrorized and increasingly haunted with a sense of helplessness and frustration have translated into various psychopathologies, particularly depression and anxiety. Drug addiction has spread rapidly among the young. Throughout the general population, various forms of physical and verbal violence and antisocial behavior have increased. Families, clans, and political factions have been plagued by infighting. I read these phenomena as indications that Palestinians have directed aggression inward, in reactive self-destruction.

Initially and in 1987, the Intifada transformed this psychological pattern; it restored a positive self-image, high self-esteem, and national pride. Helplessness was replaced overnight by a positive assertiveness. Individuals felt responsible and identified strongly with the national struggle. The Intifada was an outlet for the simmering, bottled-up anger. The individual and the communal psychic tension found a legitimate target: the Israeli soldiers.

Now, years after the Intifada, the picture has changed. The stagnant political process and the aggressive Israeli response have both contributed to the re-emergence of feelings of frustration and of calls for radical and violent tactics. This is particularly evident in Gaza Strip, which in many ways fits the model of a prison. It has become a huge detention center.

More than 6000 Palestinians are still in Israeli prisons. Palestinians in exile are denied the right of return. Families of ex-political prisoners often become targets of those ex-prisoners anger and frustration. The unstable political situation, the Israeli practices of closures of the Gaza Strip, and restrictions preventing Gazans from moving freely and finding work to support their families, have resulted in a deteriorating economic situation. Added to that:

 

• Palestinians are not allowed normal access through the Israeli checkpoints. Instead they are forced to go through passageways, driven like cattle through sale yards. This is humiliating for Palestinians and also causes distress for women and children.

   

• Because of the closure, and the economic measures imposed by Israel, the unemployment rate has reached 68% in Gaza Strip.

   

• More than 40% Palestinian children are leaving schools and working inside Israeli settlements or in small factories in Gaza.

   

• Palestinians activists are routinely imprisoned by the PNA

   

• The PNA has administrative and financial corruption

   

• As a result of the peace process and negotiations, every day there is a new settlement built on confiscated Palestinian land and demolished Palestinian houses.

   

• Palestinians feel alienated and the losers at the end. They feel that they have been deceived and that their sacrifice and suffering are endless.

A few days ago, after Israel launched a rocket attack on Gaza, I visited my parent's house. My father, who is 85 years old, asked me, without any expression, 'Why worry??'. I have lived through all stages of the Palestinian struggle and the Israeli oppression and it will never come to an end till there is justice and when we, Palestinians, achieve our rights and dignity by any means, regardless of the sacrifice.

I found my self today participating in a funeral of a 54 year old man who was killed on his way to bury his friend who was killed few days before. He was the father of a woman lawyer working with us. Sadness and anger were clear in the eyes of the young children in every corner we passed through in El Bourieje refugee camp.

This article is a response to the biased results of a poll published by the Time Magazine, which showed that Palestinians should be blamed for the violence which has been taking place for more than a month.

Dear Voters…YOU ARE RIGHT

Palestinians should be blamed because they were uprooted in 1948 and forced to leave their homeland after witnessing the massacre of Dier Yaseen, among other massacres, and after being threatened by killings and the rape of women.

Palestinians should be blamed because they have been confined for 52 years to refugee camps and misery, screaming in silence, dreaming of the day of return.

Palestinians should be blamed because they were reoccupied in 1967 by Israel and were forced to leave their homes for the second time.

Palestinians should be blamed because Sharon visited and desecrated Al Aqsa mosque, which resulted in over 150 Palestinians being killed, 35% of them children, and more than 4000 wounded.

Palestinians should be blamed because they accepted to negotiate 20% of their original homeland in Palestine and ended up with cantons, which not only divided the Gaza Strip from West Bank, but also isolated their towns. Palestinians should be blamed because their economy, labor, mobility, water, lands, and more importantly their lives, are controlled by Israel.

Palestinians should be blamed because they send their young children to be killed, while everybody ignores the real suffering and feelings of those children who have been killed in cold blood by Israeli soldiers. This young generation has witnessed nothing but frustration, hunger, and helplessness of their families and community. The peace process did not bring any positive changes, but made their lives even worse.

Dear Voters
Did you read the report published by UNICEF regarding the labor of young Palestinians who leave schools and work inside Israeli settlements to support their families? Did anybody think how they feel, and how they perceive their work for their enemy??

Did anyone of you think for a moment of the women and their children who are left alone to fight for daily food after their bread winners were killed or imprisoned?? I can give lists and lists of names of those who have no voice but are filled with bitterness.

Israel wants a land without people - people who were there thousands of years before what is now called Israel was created with the support of the British.
But we are here and will continue to live on our land regardless of the price because we all believe that where there is a will there is a way.