A long time
ago, a girl named Li-Li got married and went to live with her husband and
mother-in-law.In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn't get along with
her mother-in-law at all.
Their
personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her
mother-in-law's habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly.
Days passed
days, and weeks passed weeks. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing
and fighting. But what made the situation even worse was that, according to
ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her
every wish.
All the anger
and unhappiness in the house was causing the poor husband great distress.
Finally, Li-Li
could not stand her mother-in-law's bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and
she decided to do something about it.
Li-Li went to
see her father's good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs. She told him the
situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the
problem once and for all. Mr. Huang thought for a while, and finally said,
Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey
what I tell you. Li-Li said, "Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to
do."
Mr.Huang went
into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs.
He told Li-Li,
"You can't use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because
that would cause people to become suspicious. Therefore, I have given you a
number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body.
Every other day
prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving. Now,
in order to make sure that nobody suspects you when she dies, you must be very
careful to act very friendly towards her. Don't argue with her, obey her every
wish, and treat her like a queen."
Li-Li was so
happy. She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her
mother-in-law.
Weeks went by,
and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food
to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr.Huang had said about avoiding
suspicion, so she controlled her temper,obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated
her like her own mother. After six months had passed, the whole household had
changed.
Li-Li had
practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never
got mad or upset. She hadn't had an argument in six months with her
mother-in-law, who now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with.
The
mother-in-law's attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like
her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best
daughter-in-law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now
treating each other like a real mother and daughter.
Li-Li's husband
was very happy to see what was happening.
One day, Li-Li
came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again. She said, "Dear Mr. Huang,
please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law! She's changed
into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to
die because of the poison I gave her."
Mr. Huang
smiled and nodded his head. "Li-Li, there's nothing to worry about. I never gave
you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitimans to improve her health. The
only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all
washed away by the love which you gave to her."
MORAL: Friends,
have you ever realized that how you treat others is exactly how they will treat
you? In China it is said: The person who loves others will also be loved.
Author: Uknown
***********************
Treatment of
Mothers-in-law By Dr. Muhammad Ali Al-Hashimi
Excerpt from:
The Muslim woman and her Husband.
Note: Although
the article below is written in reference to the wife treating her
mother-in-law. The advices are also applicable to the husband in his treatment
to his mother-in-law as well.
One of the ways
in which a wife expresses her respect towards her husband is by honouring and
respecting his mother.
The Muslim
woman who truly understands the teachings of her religion knows that the person
who has the greatest right over a man is his mother, as one notes in many
Ahaadeeth. So she helps him to honour and respect his mother,by also honouring
and respecting her. In this way she will do herself and her husband a favour, as
she will be helping him to do good deeds and fear Allah Ta'ala, as commanded by
the Qur'an. At the same time, she will endear herself to her husband, who will
appreciate her honour and respect towards his family in general, and towards his
mother in particular. Nothing could please a decent, righteous and respectful
man more than seeing strong ties of love and respect between his wife and his
family, and nothing could be more hateful to a decent man than to see those ties
destroyed by the forces of evil, hatred and conspiracy. The Muslim family which
is guided by faith in Allah Ta'ala and follows the pure teachings of Islam is
unlikely to fall into the trap of such jahili(ignorant)
behaviour,
which usually flourishes in communities today.
A Muslim wife
may find herself being tested by her mother-in-law and other in-laws, if they
are not of good character. If such is the case, she is obliged and would be
meritorious to treat them in the best way possible, which requires a great deal
of cleverness, courtesy, diplomacy and repelling evil with that which is better.
Thus she will maintain a balance between her relationship with her in-laws and
her relationship with her husband, and she will protect herself and her marriage
from any adverse effects that may result from the lack of such a balance.
The Muslim
woman should never think that she is the only one who is required to be a good
and caring companion to her spouse, and that nothing similar is required of her
husband or that there is nothing wrong with him mistreating her or failing to
fulfil some of the responsibilities of marriage. Islam has regulated the marital
relationship by giving each partner both rights and duties. The wife's duties of
honouring and taking care of her husband are balanced by the rights that she has
over him, which are that he should protect her honour and dignity from all kinds
of mockery,humiliation,trials or oppression. These rights of the wife comprise
the husband's duties towards her: he is obliged to honour them and fulfil them
as completely as possible.
One of the
Muslim husband's duties is to fulfil his role of qawwam(maintainer and
protector)properly. This is a role that can only be properly fulfilled by a man
who is a successful leader in his home and family, one who possesses likeable
character and qualities. Such a man has a noble and worthy attitude, is
tolerant, overlooks minor errors, is in control of his married life, and is
generous without being extravagant. He respects his wife's feelings and makes
her feel that she shares the responsibility of running the household affairs,
bringing up the children,and working with him to build a sound Muslim family, as
Islam wants it to be.