1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

3.  It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

4. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

5.  Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

6. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

8. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

9. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before
you need it.

10. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake
when you make it again.

11. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

12. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease
to be amused.