Today we mourn the passing of an old friend, by the
name of "Common
Sense".

Common Sense lived a long life but died from heart
failure on the brink
of
the new millennium. No one really knows how old he
was, since his birth
records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools,
hospitals, homes,
factories helping folks get jobs done without fanfare
and foolishness.
For
decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous
lawsuits held no power
over
Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such
valued lessons as
to
know when to come in out of the rain, why the early
bird gets the worm,
and
that life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies
(don't spend
more
than you! earn), reliable parenting strategies (the
adults are in
charge,
not the kids), and it's okay to come in second. A
veteran of the
Industrial
Revolution, the Great Depression, and the
Technological Revolution,
Common
Sense
survived cultural and educational trends including
body piercing, whole
language, and "new math." But his health declined when
he became
infected
with the "If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it"
virus.

In recent decades his waning strength proved no match
for the ravages
of
well intentioned but overbearing regulations. He
watched in pain as
good
people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers. His
health rapidly
deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented
zero-tolerance
policies.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual
harassment for
kissing a
classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of
mouthwash after lunch,
and
a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student
only worsened his
condition.

It declined even further when schools had to get
parental consent to
administer aspirin to a student but could not inform
the parent when a
female student was pregnant or wanted an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten
Commandments
became
contraband, churches became businesses, criminals
received better
treatment
than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in
everything from
the
Boy Scouts to professional sports. Finally, when a
woman, too stupid to
realize
that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, was awarded a
huge settlement,
Common Sense threw in the towel.

As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of
logic but was
kept
informed of developments regarding questionable
regulations such as
those
for low flow toilets, rocking chairs, and stepladders.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents,
Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and
his son, Reason. He
is
survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights, and Ima
Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized
he was gone.