Nowadays, the general trend governing marriages
is that the husband views his responsibility towards his family as being a
purely materialistic one i.e. to provide financially for them (a house, car,
clothes, etc). This attittude is resulting in many marriages breaking down since
many husbands are seriously deficient in not spending sufficient time with their
families - in communicating and interacting with the family and children. Islam
presents a different view of the role of the husband, where he is made
responsible for the Islamic nurturing and development of his wife and children
as well as their psychological and moral welfare. In actual fact the time which
he spends with his family is not only a responsibility but an act of Ibaadat for
which he will be rewarded. Sad to note that despite this, many husbands become
restless and seek every opportunity to withdraw from their families by, among
other things:
Spending a great deal of time
watching sports on TV
Spending many afternoons and evenings 'with the boys' at THE CLUB.
Going off at weekends to play golf or fishing.
It also often transpires that if the wife
(reluctantly) agrees to an arrangement allowing the husband regular time 'with
the boys' the opportunity is used for other purposes e.g. conducting illicit
relationships (adultery), etc.
He seeks more and more to be away from his family
and should the wife raise even the mildest objection, he usually reacts with a
great temper tantrum. Sadly, many wives endure this torture of loneliness and
neglect with a great deal of bitterness and sorrow, tolerating their miserable
condition because they have no where else to go. How often have you heard a
tearful wife say, 'He's got more time for his friends than for me'.
Allah's Messenger (Sallallaahu layhi Wasallam)
said, 'The best of you is he who is best to his family'. (Mishkat)