sARDARJI IN tITANIC

Titanic is going to be drowned....

Everybody in the ship is shouting,  crying, running or

praying to god... Just then a Italian asks the nearby

Sardarji in the ship.

Italian : How far is land, from here ?

Sardarji: Two miles ..

Italian : Only two miles, Then why are these

fools making noise. I have got the experience of

swimming even more.

Sardarji : .....!@#$% ...??

(The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and

comes up to the layer to ask something again)

Italian : Just tell me which side, land is two miles

from here ?

Sardarji : Downwards ..

_______________________________________________________

Once there was a train, which was going peacefully on

the rail-tracks. Suddenly the train deviated from the

tracks, went onto the fields nearby and then came back

on the tracks. The passengers were horrified. On the

next railway station the driver was caught : He was

found to be a Singh.

He was questioned . He explained that there was a

man standing on the tracks and he was not moving from

there even after blowing the horn, lashing the  lights

etc. The authorities questioned : Mr. Singh are you

mad! Just to save the life  of  one person you put the

lives of so many passengers in danger. You should

have run that person over.

Singh said : That is exactly what I had decided, but

this idiot started running  towards the field when

the train got real close.

___________________________________________________

Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters.

They were planning for free Punjab.

Santa Singh raised a point,

"Oh..we'll get Punjab from India but how would we develop it?"

That was a difficult question indeed.

Suddenly Banta Singh replied, "No problem! we'll attack USA,

it would take over us and then we would be a state of USA and

we'll automatically get developed."

All the surds became happy on this very simple solution but an

old surd did not utter a single word.

Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.

The surd replied,

"OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA ?????"

_____________________________________________

Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.

"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs," he replied.

He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style,

and returned to tell the salesman "I would like to buy this

TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.

"Damn, he recognized me," he thought.

He went for a complete disguise this time,

haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses,

then waited a few days before he again approached the salesman.

"I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.

Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"

"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

_______________________________________________________

A sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs

start approaching,

he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him

"kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi

to hai"

Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai,

pata hai kai cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "

______________________________________________________

Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks

and he takes along some wine and chicken with him.

Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai ye sab kyon leke baithe

ho?"

Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na

marjaun"

_______________________________________________________

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a

Clock Tower

when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the

Tower.

Sardarji says "Yes".

"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."

The man took the thousand and disappeared.

Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was

taken.

On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same

street

and the same man asks him to buy the clock.

"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."

The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says

"I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."

________________________________________________

double decker bus ride

Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay.

They managed to get into a double-decker bus.

Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat,

But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top.

After a while when the rush is over,

Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh.

He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front

with both hands, scared to death.

He says, "Are you Banta Singh ! What the heck's goin' on? Why

are you so scared ?

I was enjoying my ride down there ?

Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.*"

_______________________________________________________