The Third Parent
by Muhammad Shareef
As Allah ta'ala states, it is part of our belief that we shall
be questioned and are responsible for the following: [Verily!
Hearing, Sight, and the heart, all will be questioned (by Allâh).]
(Al-Israa 036)
And as Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - said, on
the Day of Repayment, no one will move until they are asked about
three things ... "And his youth - what he exhausted it with?"
A close friend of mine told me his experience when leaving
Canada to go overseas and study Islam. He said that he went to a
person's house to say Salaam to the family and as he left he
noticed the son - who was 7 years old at the time - slacked out
on his stomach, chin locked in his two hands, staring deathly at
the TV. He says, when he returned after a full 4 years, he
entered the same house and found the same boy slacked out on his
stomach, chin locked in his two hands, staring deathly at the TV
- only now he was 4 years older.
Today - in sha' Allah - we would like to speak about TV and
it's dark side. It is not our intention to make you race home to
throw the TV off the balcony - although that would be nice. It is
our hope that you will leave today in sha' Allah with a better
understanding of the destructive nature the TV has on a persons
life and hereafter, not only his own, but also his family and
children.
In Qawaa'id Fiqhiyyaah there is a principle that says, 'Al
Waasaa'il ta'khudhu Hukm al-Ghaayaat' that 'The means takes the
same ruling as the intention of what is trying to be attained.' A
Television set, with the wires, screen, box, and plug is nothing
more than a means. It is what is trying to be attained by that
box that makes it Haram or Halal. Similar to a gun, something
that can be used for noble purposes, such as defending one's land
from aggression, or can be a means of considerable harm -
especially when given to a child.
In an Arab ESL class, the teacher - as his opening class -
would ask the students what English words were taken from the
Arabic. A few hands would jerk up and say things like, 'Chemistry
from Keemiyaa', Algebra from AlGebr, Physics from Feesiyaa',
etc.' Then he would interestingly ask them what Arabic words were
taken from the English, the answers come quick, 'Raadiyo from
Radio, Dosh from Satellite Dish, and of course Tilfaaz from TV.'
What did the west take from us, and what did we take from
them?
Hence Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in
al-Fataawa 3/227: [With regard to television, it is a dangerous
device and its harmful effects are very great, like those of the
cinema, or even worse.
We know from the research that has been written about it and
from the words of experts in Arab countries and elsewhere enough
to indicate that it is dangerous and very harmful to Islamic
beliefs ('aqeedah), morals and the state of society.
This is because it includes the presentation of bad morals,
tempting scenes, immoral pictures, semi-nakedness, destructive
speech, and Kufr.
It encourages imitation of their conduct and ways of dressing,
respect for their leaders, neglect of Islamic conduct and ways of
dressing, and looking down on the scholars and heroes of Islam.
It damages their image by portraying them in an off-putting
manner that makes people despise them and ignore them.
It shows people how to cheat, steal, hatch plots and commit
acts of violence against others.
Without doubt, anything that produces so many bad results
should be stopped and shunned, and we have to close all the doors
that could lead to it. If some of our brothers denounce it and
speak out against it, we cannot blame them, because this is a
part of sincerity towards Allaah and towards other people.]
In Sahih Al-Bukhaari, when Guraayj was praying and his mother
called him, he said to himself, "O Allah, my Salah or my mother?"
He did not know whether to continue his prayer or discontinue it
and reply the wishes of his Mother. She cursed him. And her curse
was one that we may inadvertently be doing to our children the
day we sanctioned the introduction of the third parent called TV.
She said, "May you see a prostitute!" She did not say, may there
be any relationship between you and a prostitute, no she just
said may you see one. HOW many times has the main theme of prime
time TV revolved around prostitutes? HOW MANY TIMES have our
children witnessed it? How many times have they been cursed to be
in such a situation?
Abdullaah ibn 'Umar - radi Allahu 'anhu - once passed by some
people killing time by playing chess. He became shocked at what
was happening and angrily said to them - quoting the verse of
Qur'an, "What are these IDOLS that you are standing in vigilance
over?" What would he think if he saw the Ummah and it's welcomed
hug in most Muslim homes.
When a Muslim nation watches their country play in the world
cup, over 3 million Muslims from that one country tune in. Times
that by the duration of the match, 3 hours, and you'll have 9
million hours of the Ummah's time wasted on a football game. In
one sweeping night. If Karl Marx said in 1844 that 'Religion is
the opium of people', then what about TV?
Dear brothers and sisters, Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa
sallam - said, "The person shall be (on the day of Judgement)
with those that they love." Tell that to a Muslim child, that on
the Day of judgement, if they love Michael Jordan sooo much
they'll get to be with him on that horrific day. It's sad, but
most Muslim children would get happy and excited about the
prospect - isn't that enough to strike fear into our hearts? Who
are the Muslim children really going to be with on the Day of
Repayment? Most of them cannot tell you the names, just the
names, of those people that we hope them to be with!
Let's ask ourselves, if we gave a chance for our sons or
daughters to put up a poster of their hero, the one whom they
think is the 'coolest' - would it be their father or mother?
Would it be the Prophet or his Companions? OR would it be a
basketball player that he saw on TV? Or an actor (even cartoon)
that he saw on TV? Or a model that she saw on TV? Or a musician
that he/she saw on TV? Who would it be?
Ok, the TV is monitered in the house by the parent, correct?
(95% of parents with children 8 and up don't monitor). Now what
happens if the parent dies on the way to work one day and the
children inherit the TV? Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa
sallam - said, "There is not a single sheperd (Ameer) that Allah
entrusted with a flock - who dies and in a state where he cheated
them - except that Allah shall forbid him from entering
paradise!" The 'Ulumaa would quote this hadith in light of the
father in a Muslim country that would allow a Satellite Dish to
enter his family which Allah entrusted him with.
Dear brothers and sisters, we are not here on earth to
entertain ourselves to death. We are an Ummah with a Risaalah!
When Rib'ee ibn 'Aamir - radi Allahu 'anhu - stood in the hands
of the king of Persia, he announced the message as clear and as
proud as every Muslim should, "Allah sent us to rescue humanity
from slavery to slaves - to the slavery of the Lord of all
slaves; And to rescue them from the choke of the material life to
the expanse of this life and the next, and from the corruption of
the cults to the justice of Islam!"
If we don't know how to read Qur'an, why aren't we registering
for the Qur'an institute here at Al-Huda. If we don't know the
language of the Qur'an and Sunnah, why aren't we registering for
the Arabic institute? If we don't know about the life of Rasul
Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - and his companions - radi
Allahu 'anhum - why aren't we coming to the Seerah and Fiqh
classes on Fridays and Saturdays.
Doesn't Allah ta'ala tell us in the Qur'an: (An-Nur 030)
Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at
forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal
sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allâh is All-Aware
of what they do.
How do reconcile those verses with the television that
assaults our eyes with Haram almost every second that it is on?
How do we reconcile it?
Have you heard of Cupid? Of course we have. They portray Cupid
in cartoons and comedies as a chubby child with wings who is
supposed to be the Angel of Love, shooting arrows of 'love' when
the male looks at the female. Rather dear brothers and sisters,
it is Iblees! For Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam -
told us, 'Verily the 'look' is a poisoned arrow from the arrows
of Iblees!"
Shaykh At-Tahhaan once told his students, "It was late at
night when our phone rang one day. This Muslimah whispered into
the phone, 'Is this Shaykh At-Tahhaan?' I said, 'Yes it is me.'
She kept saying is it really you? And he said, 'Yes, what is
wrong?' At that she just started sobbing and sobbing into the
phone. After some time, she explained, 'The children's father
bought a TV and video 2 days ago. Tonight I found my young son
practicing the Haraam that he saw on his younger sister!' Then
she collapsed sobbing again."
Everything starts with a look / and big fires start from a
little spark
Turn OFF TV, Turn ON Life After a grueling first year in the
Faculty of Shari'ah, I came home to Canada where I spoke to a
friend whom I hadn't spoken to for over a year. In the
conversation he said, "last night on TV Seinfeld said..." I was
puzzled and realized that for an entire year I had not heard
anything other than Imam Shaafi'ee said, and Imam Abu Hanifa
said. It was an ignorance that as Shaykh Abdul Muhsin 'Al-Abbaad
would say 'that we ask Allah ta'ala to increase us in it's
ignorance.'
Some people argue that TV is just a harmless avenue of
entertainment and that there should not be a big deal made about
it. It is interesting however that we see in Shari'ah that what
is more deadly than Haram is Bid'ah. Why you ask? Because when
someone does Haram like eating pork, he knows it is Haram and
that one day it is hoped that knowledge will lead him to fear
Allah and refrain. Bid'ah - on the other hand - is something a
person does with the hope of reward from Allah, something that
the person considers to be 'harmless'. It is deadlier because the
chances of this person correcting the situation are less due to
the ignorance which causes lack of motivation.
Other people will say that we have a TV for the news and
Islamic or educational programs? Dear brothers and sisters, is
there no other avenue to get the news? Is there no other means by
which a child can be educated and stimulated to learning?
Didn't anyone ask why we get all this 'FREE' TV? What does the
TV sell? No it doesn't sell Coke or Nike or McDonalds burgers, it
sells the AUDIENCE TO ADVERTISING COMPANIES! Why do you think
they charge $1 million for 30 seconds of advertising in a
Superbowl game?
Consider these facts: Brand loyalty starts at age 2 - they can
snatch a child into a lifetime of allegiance to their product
from that tender age. How old were you when you started loving
Coke or Pepsi?
On average, a viewer watches 20,000 commercials each year. If
we repeated a page of Qur'an to you that many times, do you think
you would memorize it?
This is just for the products, what about the 'Aqeedah that
they are being taught, a whole stack of beliefs that gets fed to
them every time they sit to listen to their third parent. Where
are the horrific stats for that?
To give just a simple example that we all know, go to a
lecture where the Imam is talking about women's rights in Islam.
Listen to the Muslim males and females debate with the Imam.
Where did they get their points? Where did they become so hostile
to anything that contradicts the Western view of women's rights?
Why is there no hostility to the Western view?
Most of it was learnt on TV, the rest was learnt in the public
school curriculum.
If this is the programming, the brain washing of our youth,
then where shall they be reprogrammed when they prefer the TV
over anyone else. Dear brothers and sisters, it is a fact that
more than half of American children would rather watch TV than
spend time with their mother or father.
After surveying a lot of young children and asking them what
is the one thing that they would sacrifice their favorite TV
shows for, many replied that if there were some sort of outside
activity they would give preference to that. Meaning, if someone
took them by the hand and organized some after school activities
they would embrace the idea.
Here are some other things that you can do instead of being
shackled to the TV, the option is yours: - Play outdoor games -
Build extra curricular skills, such as martial arts or
calligraphy or sewing or - Visit the library. - Take on a job
where they one can become serious about life and work. - Do acts
of worship such as reciting dhikr and wird, salaah, reading
Qur'aan, fasting, and thinking about the signs of Allaah in His
creation. - Adopt an Islamic cause in the place where you live,
and take part in it, such as teaching Muslim girls. - Support an
Islamic magazine by sending articles, statistics and useful
information of interest concerning Muslims in the West. - Take
part in charitable projects to help Muslim orphans, widows,
divorcees and elderly, or joining a committee to help organize
social programs and celebrations for Muslims on Eid. - Find
righteous friends to meet with and good neighbors to visit. -
Read Islamic books in particular and useful stories in general. -
Take part in da'wah activities, men or women's activities and
preschool programs in Islamic centers. - Listen to tapes and
lectures, write summaries of them, and distribute the summaries
to anyone who could benefit from them. - Do arts and crafts -
Cook items to be sold to raise funds for the Islamic center. -
Take an interest in computers and computer programs. This is a
vast field that can fill a lot of time, and the computer can be
used to do a lot of good things as well as providing
entertainment in the form of permissible games. - Spinning,
weaving, cutting out and sewing. - Gardening - Exercising outside
or at home.
In conclusion dear brothers and sisters, today is the
beginning of a new day. Allah gave us this day to use as we will.
We can waste it or use it for something good and beneficial.
But let us know that what we do today is important because we
are exchanging a day of our life for it. When tomorrow comes,
this day will be gone forever; and in it's place shall be
something that we left behind ... lets let it be something good
and something beneficial."