LoVe YoUr PaReNtS
A
MOTHER'S LABOUR OF LOVE
No one can deny the
supreme sacrifice and care that a mother renders to her child.
The mother carries him (in her womb) by enduring strain after
strain. And subsequently, at the time of birth, she is
suspended between life and death. All this she faces with
determination as much as patience barring any regret or anger.
After the child is born,
the mother looks after him and brings him up with enormous
love. She breast-feeds him for as long as two years, after
which she continues to look after her child with all sincerity,
regardless of the strain and travail (hard labour) that
accompanies such a task. Without doubt, the mother sacrifices
time, energy and much more in bringing up her child.
Because of her child,
the mother is often forced to go without sufficient sleep------
sacrificing and forgoing much-needed rest. As a consequence, it
is only but natural that she would constantly suffer from
exhaustion and fatigue. But strangely enough,in reality, the
opposite occurs. She is always happy and energetic.
The mother is the one
who is up earliest. And at night, it is usually the mother who
is the last to go to bed. It is the mother who prepares
breakfast for the child and the rest of the family. And when
everyone leaves the house, be it for work, for school or for
any other reason, it is the mother who is left alone at home.
She does not rest, but continues to work ------ busy with
cooking and the daily household chores without stopping to
rest. And when the child comes home from school, his meal is
ready; and he proceeds to eat such with great relish. The
mother, however, more often than not, has not had anything to
eat as yet.
The mother is always
energetic. She performs her chores with a feeling of elation
and happiness. Why? Because of her love for her children and
family. She does not feel the exhaustion that naturally comes
with such work, because it gladdens her heart to know that her
childıs future will be a happy and successful one.
A mother wishes that all
her children will succeed ------- that is, becoming useful
citizens, children who are pious, children who are devoted and
respectful to their parents, who obey Allah (fearful of God)
and who are useful to their family, society and country as well
.
Because of her high
aspirations for her children, she is always happy and in high
spirit; never tired and exhausted, in spite of her heavy work
load. She never sighs and complains, but is ever grateful.
Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)
has described and explained a mother's feelings for her child
in the following hadith (his sayings):
Truly, those feelings
are a blessing (rahmah) from Allah, if it were not for these
feelings, a mother would not be willing to breast-feed her
child, nor would a farmer be willing to work in the fields
(under the schorching heat of the sun).
A
FATHER'S LABOUR OF LOVE
A fatherıs sacrifice is just as big. It is the father who is
the bread winner in the family; he provides money for food,
clothing, shelter, education, health and other necessities for
the family.
Every day, without
wasting time, the father has to earn and provide----- be it by
using his mental faculties, or thru physical labour such as
working under the scorching heat of the sun , or endangering
his life by going out in the stormy seas. He goes through all
these with perseverance and determination, solely for the
purpose of providing the needs of the family.
The father also harbors
hopes for his children similar to that of the mother, which
means that his children succeed in becoming useful individuals.
PARENTS
AND THEIR HOPES
Expectations of
parents with regard to their children are towering. And it
would make them extremely happy if their hopes become
reality----: their child doing so well in his studies, their
child having good and praise-worthy manners.
A child who has achieved
this is a pleasure to behold; one who gladdens the heart of his
parents, and like a child who is mentioned in the following
Duıa (supplication):
O our Sustainer (Allah -
the Creator)! Grant that our spouse and our offsprings be a joy
to our eyes, and cause us to be foremost among those who are
conscious of thee! (Qurıan, 25/74)
Thus, every child must
aspire to fulfill the desires and hopes of his parents. If he
is still a student, he should study conscientiously and
earnestly in order that he may perform well. If he completed
schooling and gets into society, he should put into practice
all that he has learnt. He should behave well at all times and
should never himself be a burden to society. He should
constantly strive to be a virtuous son who is always obedient
to Allah's (Godıs) commandments; and he should pray for his
parents with good intentions and supplication.
If the son is far away
from home, he should not forget his parents who may be feeling
lonely. He should write to them often; visit them during his
vacation time especially during the Muslim festive season. He
should always try to make them happy; and he should never hurt
their feelings.
If the son has made a
failure of his life, and has led a life abound with sins, he
should make a conscious effort to return to the Right Path. He
should seek repentance from Allah. He should strive to make
amends and should not cause his parents any further grief and
unhappiness.
THE VIRTUOUS CHILD
Parents will
definitely benefit if their child turns out to be virtuous. A
virtuous child who has strong faith and has acquired an
understanding of submission (following the will of Allah {God})
which is called Islam and puts it into practice ---- that is,he
prays five times a day, fasts during the month of Ramadan, goes
for congregation prayers, attends religious lectures/seminars
and participates in religious activities.
Such a child will
gladden his parentsı hearts while they are in this world as
well as in the hereafter.
The Prophet (pbuh),
said: "When a person dies, he ceases to receive reward for his
deeds with the exception of the following: establishing a
foundation for the welfare of the public (for example, building
a mosque, school, hospital, etc.), knowledge which has
benefited others, and a virtuous offspring who supplicates for
him." (Al-Bukhari, Muslim and Abu Dawud).
A virtuous child will
fulfill his obligations towards his parents, as is prescribed
by Islam.
Obligations of A child
Towards His parent: To treat his parents politely and gently.
He must be gentle and devoted towards his parents. He should
not adopt rough and coarse attitude towards them, especially in
their old age. He should not utter anything that might upset
them, but should always speak politely to them.
The teachings of the
Holy Qurıaan for the child to follow during his life:
"Your Lord (Allah) has ordained that you should worship none
except Him and show kindness to parents. If one of them or both
of them attain to old age with you, say not Fieı unto them nor
reproach them but speak to them a gracious word. And lower unto
them the wing of submission through mercy (defer humbly to them
out of tenderness) and pray: My Lord, have mercy on them both
as they nurtured me when I was little." (Qurıan
<st1:time Hour="17" Minute="23">17:23</st1:time>-24)..
"And we (Allah) have
enjoined upon man (to be good) to his parents: His mother bears
him in weakness upon weakness.." Qurıan 31:14
"We have enjoined on man
kindness to his parents: In pain did his mother bear him, and
in pain did she give him birth.." (Qurıan 46:59).
Children should first
seek permission before entering their room
The children should not enter their parentsı room until and
unless they have obtained permission first.
"Yet when the children
among you attain puberty, let them ask leave of you (at all
times), even as those (who have reached maturity) before them
have been enjoined to ask it." (Qurıan 24:59)
To stand before them
(parents) as a mark of respect. And as a mark of respect,
children should stand when welcoming their parents.
The Prophet (pbuh) used
to stand to welcome Fatima (his daughter) when she came to
visit him. And the prophet (pbuh) used to kiss her and invite
her to sit. Likewise, <st1:place>Fatima</st1:place>
used to stand to welcome her father whenever he came to visit
her. And <st1:place>Fatima</st1:place> used to
kiss him and invite him to sit. That was how Siti Fatima (may
Allah be pleased with her) used to show respect to her parents.
(Abu Dawud, Al-Nasai ans Al-Tirmidhi)
TO HELP PARENTS
FINANCIALLY
The children should help out their parents financially should
such help be needed. A young man once came to the prophet (pbuh)with
a complaint that his father wanted to take his property. The
Prophet (pbuh), replied:
"Anta wa-maluka li-Abika"
["You and your property are for your father (to use) "].
Obligation of the
child After the death of His parents
The prophet (pbuh) was once asked by a companion: "O
messenger of Allah! Are there any deeds that I could do to be
of service to my prarents after they have passed away?"
The prophet (pbuh),
replied: "Yes there are: you should supplicate for them
and ask Allah to forgive them; you should carry out (fulfill)
their promises; you should maintain good relations with your
relatives ; and you should honour their friends." (Abu Dawud,
Ibn Majah and Ibn Hibban)
A well known prayer for
parents: "O Allah! Forgive me my sins, and the sins of my
parents, have mercy on them boths as they have looked after me
when I was little"
PARENTS WHO ARE NOT
NON-MUSLIMS
A child is required to do good towards his parents who are
non-Muslims except in matters which will lead to shirk or which
will go against Allah --- in which case, the child must not
obey the parents.
(Revere thy parents);
Yet should they endeavour to make thee ascribe divinity, side
by side with Me, to something thy mind cannot accept (as
divine), obey them not; but (even then) bear them company in
this worldıs life with kindness." Qurıan 31:15
Good relation with
non-Muslim parents should be maintained, for example, honouring
them, treating them politely, helping them financially,
providing food and clothing, visiting them and attending to
them when they are sick. And most important, to pray that their
parents receive guidance from Allah!
Allahıs Reward for the
Child: Allah will give a bounteous reward to the child who is
devoted to his parents. On the other hand, a child who is
rebellious and goes against the wishes of his parents will
incur Allahıs wrath. There are numerous hadith with regard to
this:
Whoever does good
towards his parents will certainly live happily and
contentedly; and Allah will lengthen his life. (Al-Fath Al-Kabir).
<o:p></o:p>
Be devoted
towards your parents so that your children may be devoted
towards you. <o:p></o:p>
Allahıs pleasure ceases
when the parentsı pleasure cease; Allah's Wrath ceases when the
parentsı wrath cease. (Al-Termidhi, Al-Hakim and Al-Bukhari)
There are three prayers
which are accepted without any uncertainty; they are: the
prayer of one who has been oppressed: the prayer of a traveler;
and the prayer of parents for their child. (Ahmad, Al-Bukhari,
Abu Dawud and Al-Tirmidhi).
The major sins are: to
associate partners with Allah (acknowledging other gods besides
Allah), going against the wishes of oneıs parents. To kill
someone, and to swear falsely. (Saheeh Al-Bukhari)
The punishment of every
major sin is Hell-fire unless the sinner seeks repentance from
Allah; or if the sin is going against oneıs parents, then the
sinner must also seek forgiveness from his parents.
The punishment of every
sin will be held back till the Day of Judgment with exception
of the sin of going against oneıs parents, in which case,
punishment will take place during his lifetime before his
death. (Al-Tabrani).
It has been narrated that
Alqamah was a good companion of the prophet (pbuh). He was very
diligent when it came to praying, fasting and giving charity.
However, upon getting married, his love for his wife was
greater than for his mother. As a result, when he was dying, he
was not able to recite the Kalimah "la ilaha illallah." The
Prophet (pbuh) asked the mother to forgive her son, however,
she refused to do so. Eventually, the Prophet told bilal to
gather some firewood; and told the latter to burn Alqamah. Upon
seeing this, the feelings of love for her son prevailed;
forgave her son, after which, Alqamah was able to recite the
Kalimah "La ilaha illah" as he breathed his last.
LoVe YoUr PaReNtS
When we realized
how much our parents have done for us, every son/ daughter must
love and respect his/her parents, must be good towards them and
must be grateful to them.
A child who does this
will be bounteously rewarded with paradise in the hereafter and
will enjoy a life of happiness and comfort in this world. Insha
Allah. On the other hand, a child who goes against his parents
will incur Allahıs wrath.
Thus, strive to be a
virtuous son/daughter. Love your parents, so that your life
will be happy and blissful and you will be protected from the
wrath of Allah (God).
In
the Name of Allah, Most
Gracious, Most Merciful