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F ormulae
of
Friendship
Forever
It isn't difficult to make friends .What is difficult is to
maintain friendship. Many of us go through life meeting and
loosing friends and then concluding that there aren't any true
friends in this world. In my humble experience it is so because
most of us are I-Experts. I want this, I think this, I believe
this, I want you to do this etc. It is the fast lane to
failure, unhappiness and loneliness in life. To change all this
, and ride on the highway to happiness, I have shortcuts.Have a
minute to spare ?.
So here is my
V Formula
From your conversation delete maximum
Is
and replace them with
Vs.
Got it ?
Look at this this way ........
now we give it a vertical flip ...
one
Two
Three
Use minimum of Me and maximum of We
- to begin with in talk , and then thoughts too!
With friends talk
: we
will... ,
we
want ....,
we
think.. , let
us
do like this ... , it's
our
idea ....
and just see the
DIFFERENCE
!!
My ' ACE ' Formula
It is always a dilemma how much truth we
should tell a friend. If we always praise and not tell their
faults we are rather an enemy then friend. Because we are
indirectly approving harmful habits, attitudes, and actions. On
the other hand if we point out mistakes, it leads to dislike
and break off. I feel the right way is to
speak truth but with tact.
It isn't enough that you are saying the right thing, it's even
more important that we say it , in a right manner, at right
time, place and mood of the person. The way to give
constructive criticism and friendly feedback is in three steps
:-
A C E
First
Appreciate
:
Whatever the friend is, or has done, there is certainly some
genuine aspect to appreciate. Do that.
Then
Criticise :
Now point out the not so good aspects, don't twist the knife/eloborate,
just state them.
Finally
Encourage
:
Always end by encouraging "You are good", "You did well ", "You
have a great future ahead"
Miss any step, or the sequence and we may loose a friend, try
this way, it builds solid bonds.
My ' SPACE ' Formula
CANYOUPLEASEREADTHISENTENCEANDTELLMEHOWDOYOUFEEL?
Get my point ?
When we love and care for someone we become too protective. We
want to know every thing, including what our friend thinks or
feels, we want to decide always what is best for friend, we
want to be together all the time, it becomes suffocating and
unbearable. I think consciously we should give gaps. Certain
things we don't ask or enquire in to, certain areas we don't
poke our nose in to, certain problems we suggest no solutions,
certain times we be away ( to rejoin later).
The Space improves the pace of friendship, admiration, and
longing for each other many folds !!
Hey, I am no guru or master. Just wanted to share my
personal formulae
which work great for me. Try them, may be they will work for
you too.
And if they do, do write to me your experience, my friend !!
Promise ?
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