Marriage Quotes By Famous Husbands:
 -My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
 -My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

-A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
 -I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburettor."  I asked her , "Where's the car?" -She replied, "In the lake."
- Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends.
-A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report since the thief was -spending much less than his wife did. 
-Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
-Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
-A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to  get  married?"  The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
 -Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't >know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.
 -A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same : "You can have mine.
-"A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire."  And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.  "A billionaire." she replied,
 -Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
 -A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all - money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman - and then, BAM!, it was all  gone!". "What happened?" asked his friend. "My wife found out..."
> Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking  they had no faults at all.
 > A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
 > A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
THIS ONE I REALLY LOVE !!!! (bad girl !)
-A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever  he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.  The man thinks for a moment and says, "Okay, give me a million dollars and  beat me till I'm half dead."
 -Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewellery.
- How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get your laundry done free.
-The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
-Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
-First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive.