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RAISING MUSLIM CHILDREN IN THE PUBLIC SCHOOLS:
WHAT PARENTS NEED TO KNOW
by Sahar El-Shafie
Many Muslim families debate whether to send their children to public schools or Islamic schools. Whatever the parents choose for their children, parents must always remember that whatever environment they choose for their children, they must do their best to guide them.
Some parents feel that simply having their children attend Islamic schools relieves them of their duties as parents. Of course, this is not true.
Yet, there are far too many parents who subscribe to this way of thinking.
MUSLIMS IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS: AN INSIDER'S VIEW
As a teacher in the public school system, I also see the problems of having a Muslim child attend a school where the values of the school don't necessarily match that of the child's Islamic upbringing. So what are we to do?
The answer, I feel, lies in our ability to parent as well as in helping build our children's own Islamic identity.
Parents often wonder what it takes to raise their children in this Western society, which doesn't have the sense of Halal and Haram that we Muslims do.
But what are we teaching our children at home that helps them to deal with such issues?
STARTING THE REAL TEACHING OF OUR KIDS AT HOME
Are we fostering in our children a sense of pride in our Deen? We are so busy trying to make ends meet in our day-to-day struggle to survive that our children's Islamic upbringing is being neglected.
As parents we want our children to be successful doctors, lawyers and engineers. How many of us want our children to be good Muslims as well as successful professionals today? I see too many Muslim children who try to hide their Islam in the public school setting.
In America, the great melting pot, it is easier to try to fit in than stand out in the crowd. But that is human nature, is it not? How many of us parents do the same at work?
BUILDING ISLAMIC IDENTITY IN YOUR KIDS: SOME TIPS
The answer then lies in our ability to keep our Islamic identity in a non-Muslim society, as well as help our children to develop a Muslim identity of their own.
From personal experience, I have found out that we need to be with good practicing Muslims if we are to develop a Muslim identity.
The same is true for our children.
Be active in your local Muslim community.
Be a part of the solution to your community's problems.
Organize and support youth groups that foster your children's strong sense of Islamic identity.
Get together with other Muslim families and organize group activities for the children like group outings, camps, picnics, etc.
Also, have a knowledgeable family member give them Quranic as well as Islamic lessons to help them further develop their knowledge of their Deen.
BE MORE THAN A PARENT TO YOUR CHILD
Most of all, be a friend to your child.
Listen to his or her problems and help him to solve them Islamically.
Make your child active in finding the solution to their problem. Don't try to shelter your child from the harshness of reality.
If you are not open-minded and helpful in resolving their problems, they will find someone else who is, and that person may not have the proper Islamic perspective.
As far as the specific problems your child encounters in the public school system, they are the problems of the Western society in which we live.
Drugs, violence, sexual promiscuity, lack of respect for the authority and an attitude that everyone should be respected regardless of his/her morality are but just a few.
The good news is that these are the problems to which only Islam offers the correct solution.
FINDING COMMON GROUND WITH NON-MUSLIMS
I was surprised to note that there are a lot of conservative Christians and Jews who are raising their children in the same way.
I have a Methodist coworker who is a very firm believer in Allah's control over all of our fate. When she asks me about my future as a teacher, I answer that I leave the future to Allah. I can only do my best to attain my goals, but ultimately it is Allah who knows what will be and what is best for us. So we should always pray to Him for guidance.
She agreed with me wholeheartedly and commented that unlike other Christians, she was a firm believer in Allah's control over fate. This was the first time I had encountered a non-Muslim with this sense of Tawakul.
I guess that the bottom line is that no matter what environment we choose for our children, we must remember that the role we play as parents to teach our children their religion and help them to develop pride in it is crucial.
Let's all work together as an Islamic community to help ourselves and to help our children be good Muslims.
Sister Sahar El-Shafie teaches Social Studies to sixth and seventh graders at Martin Middle, a public school in Raleigh, North Carolina. She has coordinated several youth programs and understands their problems very closely.
This article was originally published in the Fall 1998 issue of Noor magazine. ============================================================================
4 TIPS FOR PARENTS:
ON DEALING WITH MISINFORMATION ABOUT ISLAM IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS
Muslim parents often have important concerns abut public school education and its potential effects upon the growth and development of their children.
Trying to instill an Islamic identity and strong moral ethic while at the same time encouraging excellence in education and values they engender, thus making it necessary for Muslim parents to take a proactive approach towards their children's education.
In other words, parents must get involved.
However, simply being involved is not enough. The approach one takes is far more important, because it will determine in the long run what you as a parent will be able to achieve and what concerns you'll be able to address in the education field.
As a rule, one should take a contributory approach, always interacting with others in a way that indicates you have something to offer which will be beneficial.
It would be counterproductive to take a complaining or angry approach.
After all, most problems and concerns arise out of ignorance rather than actual hostile intent, although that is possible in some cases.
While the treatment of Islam and Muslims should improve in future textbooks, currently there may be many books in circulation which are used throughout the United States that have inaccurate or inadequate information on Islam and the history of Muslims.
In order to address this problem, concerned Muslims must take the responsibility of providing correct information to their local schools and districts.
In California and many other states, the unit on Islam is covered in the seventh grade.
This may differ in some areas. As a parent, you have more rights in regard to your child's education than does the teacher or principal of your child's school.
Knowing this, there are various things which you as a concerned Muslim can and should do when misinformation about Islam is being conveyed to your child and to other children in the classroom.
TIP #1: READ YOUR CHILD'S TEXTBOOK AND EVALUATE THE MISINFORMATION
First of all, you should familiarize yourself with your child's textbooks, particularly the Social Studies-History textbook. If you feel qualified, you can review the unit on Islam yourself, or you can request a local scholar to review it for you.
In either case, the review should be done in writing. All examples of misinformation should be cited, and most importantly, a corrected version of each example should also be provided.
TIP #2: ARRANGE TO MEET THE TEACHER AND THE DIRECTOR OF CURRICULUM
Once the review has been completed and typed in an organized, clear manner, you should request a meeting with your child's teacher, as well as the Director of the Curriculum for the entire school district.
The teacher will be able to incorporate the recommended changes in the corrected version in his/her own classroom, and the District Director of Curriculum will be able to incorporate the changes in classrooms district-wide.
TIP #3: APPROACH THE MEETING AS A CONTRIBUTOR TO SOLVE PROBLEMS
It is critical to remember that when meeting with the teacher and the director, a calm, friendly, yet concerned manner should be employed.
Blaming the teacher for the misinformation would be a grievous mistake.
Teachers are overburdened as it is just trying to teach their students, and they do not determine the contents of the texts.
The best approach is to take the position that you have some concerns about the treatment of Islam in the text, and that you would like to help alleviate some of the problems.
By taking the approach of a helper, you can change the entire dynamic of the meeting.
At that point, you can supply the teachers and director with the review and the corrections, as well as any additional material you feel would help the teacher teach more accurately about Islam.
For example, they can obtain An Introduction to Islamic History Teacher's Resource Book for Grades 7-12 (contact the Council on Islamic Education).
TIP #4: SOLIDIFY YOUR CONTACT WITH THE SCHOOL AND TEACHER
Additionally, you can request that one day, the classroom or entire school can have Muslim guest speakers come and make a presentation about Islam.
Also, refer the teacher to resources such as Islamic centers, the Council on Islamic Education, and other organizations.
Furthermore, consider donating a Quran and copies of An Introduction to Islamic History and Teaching About Islam: A Handbook for Educators to your child's school.
For further information, please contact the Council on Islamic Education at (714) 839-2929 or check out the CIE's website at http://www.cie.org/.
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